Spring dating intoxication

"There is always a way to turn a man’s weakness to advantage"

It is still long before real spring, tempting skirts and resort dating. But the first spring brooks are already storming in the melting men’s hearts. In March men are ready to date or rather to fall in dating adventure, to suffer and to shower compliments. And after all who cares that in their hormone madness they go after every cute girl. Even in spring.

There is no need saying that spring influences badly not only man’s brains. And here is woman who wants to do steady daring with a guy. And March is an ideal month for dating. And in general, it is right. But to win a really luxurious trophy women should consider the following: in early spring men are looking mostly for sexual dating adventures. Real love desire will come to them later. That’s why it is better to spend both March and April carefully flirting and not seriously dating.

If woman manage to produce dating so that the peak of man interest falls on March and the peak of his being in love on May, it is quite possible that this woman will meet Christmas together as a family.

Wrong reasons to have sex

Wrong reasons to have sex #1 - Vain liaisons
Sometimes remember details of the past night suddenly comes a thought: “It’s all wrong! It’s just terrible! I shouldn’t have this sex! ”

Let us look through several occasions and analyze is vain affair a black spot in one’s biography or could it be left behind.

Wrong reasons to have sex #2 Alcohol influence
It’s of common knowledge that alcohol is a huge power which makes people to make thoughtless deeds. After several glasses of wine it may seem that the best friend is the best lover valid for one occasion only. But after that the friendship is over. You can just slake the curiosity but loose your best friend. Ladies fall for the temptation with the help of alcohol not rarely had to disentangle consequences of the rash deed for quite a long period of time.

Wrong reasons to have sex #3 For the collection
Samantha Jones, heroine of the well-known serial “Sex and the City”, is the best example of the modern woman. She behaves like a man; she is collecting men for her pleasure and doesn’t think about moral principles of a society. It’s not blamable to have a lot of men. Time when a woman had to stay virgin to the marriage had past. But still women should pick and choose and sleep only with those men who are worthy to be in your bed but not because of the tick in your privet intimate list.

Wrong reasons to have sex #4 I’m so lonely
When you are in a company where everybody has partner solitude starts to oppress lone person what is instigate to make thoughtless deeds. But don’t forget that a person can simply use your down and out state. Won’t you be sorry about it later? Will it help to overcome your loneliness? That is questionable!

Wrong reasons to have sex #5 The power of envy
Someone is envy of other’s luxurious apartment; someone is envy of other’s high salary. But the real disaster is when you are envy of your friend’s happiness. If you know that your friend is extremely happy with a man her happiness starts to irritate you. You think that you could be happy with this man too and decide to allure him. You can’t build your own happiness on the base of the disaster of other person. In this occasion you are GUILTY without any comments.

Wrong reasons to have sex #6 Let’s have a bet
Couple of years ago in the world of fashion has appeared an opinion that sex is like a sport: health-giving, positively affects on your mood. Hundreds of men and women decided to take a part in the competitions emulating in the skills of temptation. When you are suggested to tempt someone you have two ways: to do it or loose. Those who had chosen the first way not rarely blushing remembering victories in this shady walk of life. Sometimes it’s better to loose with dignity and be proud that you haven’t fall for the provocation.
Wrong reasons to have sex list end

Love and dependence

Psychology of man is such, stronger ties its morals to weaker. Those are became subordinated, they begin to play by no means not according to their rules, forgetting about its own ego, thus, betraying themselvs. Human, who is under someone, attempts to change a model of behavior, a way of life of its close one.

Why you were connected? For the enjoyment and the happiness. Against the background to love, to subordinate and to impose on close person, the desired means, the task, which does not require huge efforts. Outcome is one - this is the depreciation of living person

Be determined for the beginning, which is more important: to obtain desired or to remain together. Make this decision itself - do not push that to loved one. If there is a problem, there are solution. Choose what to you is more important: your loved one or your own desire. 

Independence freedom, this is what draws originally in the partner. Moreover this is so sexual! This is one of the secrets of happiness. You do want to prolong it? Then allow man to remain itself.

Top ten relationship mistakes man make.

10 main reasons, on which the men suffer failures with the women, and our attempt to warn you how to avoid it

ERROR 1: Overplay a good guy

I do assume, you already did have time to note that really beautiful women never do like such a good guys? Certainly, it noted.
Exactly as, you for sure have likable friends, interested in you, but not disposed to you romantically. What this does indicate? Everything is very simple.
The fact is that woman do not base their selection on that, to what extent “is good” (it is likable, amusing) guy. They select those men, from whom proceeds internal power and force.
On the whole, playing into “good guy” in front of the woman you never will force her to feel your internal power.
Accept this AS OBJECTIVE REALITY. Until you accept this as fact, you never will have success with the women.

ERROR 2: Do not attempt to convince her to fall in love with you

It is good, we have the news for you. YOU NEVER WILL FORCE WOMAN TO TREAT YOU BY HOW ATTRACTIVE YOU ARE, IF SHE DOES NOT FEEL THIS HERSELF.
Never, never, NEVER!
Think about this.
When women is not interested in us, we begin to request them, to entreat, to pursue, and we do everything so as to force her to think it over. This is - poor method. Is not worth using it, since it will never work.

ERROR 3: Ask for supports or approvals of your actions.

In our desire to please women, we, guys, always make those things, for which we attempt to obtain “approval” or “permission” from woman.
One additional - TERRIBLE method.
Those men NEVER get women.
Do not understand us incorrectly. You must not act badly, but, if you think that obtaining approval or permission from her for further actions indicates a good relation before each your act, then in that case you are mistaken. You never will succeed, searching for the approvals of your behavior in woman. In reality such guys simply irritate women. You do doubt? Ask any beauty, you know or any on a street.

ERROR 4: Attempt “to purchase” her company.

How often you try to get woman by getting her into upscale restaurants, did buy her gifts and flowers, but she DID FOR SOME REASON THROW you and did go to someone, who did not make even half that you did?
This also occurred with us. And repeatedly.
But why? Well behavior of woman are completely reasonable and NATURAL. Yes it is, precisely, NATURAL.
Doing so, you send following context to her: “I do not think that you love precisely me, me, such, such as I exists; therefore I I will try TO PURCHASE your attention and company”.
Your good at first glance intentions will be estimated by women as thirst of attention, and also as the pitiful attempts to manipulate them.

ERROR 5: Too early show your affection.

Another enormous error, which the majority of men do with the women, too hurry to show women, as they love them.
Rarely you will meet attractive woman. However, women of such type obtain considerable attention from the men.
The majority of men does not understand this, that attractive woman on several times in one day become the object of attention from the men. Several males approach to be introduced in the day, in their week several ten, while in the month - hundred. To such women getting dates frequently. And they have an experience, they know, what to expect. Woman NOT LIKE, when guy at the first-second on a date says how STRONGLY HE LOVE.
This sends to woman signal about the fact that you - one of those guys, who without mind and cannot hold control of their feelings, cannot control themselves.
Do not make this mistake.

ERROR 6: They attracted to us as we attracted to them.

Women GREATLY differ from men in questions of sexual selectivity and inclination. You must accept this fact and always hold this in the head.
When man sees beautiful, young, sexual woman, he immediately feels sexual inclination.
However, but which in such cases does occur in women?
Does perceive woman the sexual inclination to the man, based mainly on what she does see? Or something still does exert to her influence?
Women have their own “mechanisms of inclination”, caused by some other stimuli, besides the visual. Some internal qualities in the men more greatly get women.
If you will skillfully manage the body language, you will force ANY woman to feel the same powerful sexual inclination to you, that you feel and YOU, when you see tempting, sexual, young woman.

ERROR 7: Woman is interested only in our appearance and money

One of the most extended errors, which make the guys, consists in the fact that they are surrendered earlier than the time, when they even did not begin to fight. All this occur because they they think that beautiful women are interested only by those men, who have the money and attractive appearance… or by those, which attained in the life of some heights… or, for example, by the men of the specific age.
I am confident, there are, of course, such women, but them, fortunately minority. THE MAJORITY of women considerably more greatly interests the personality of man, but not his wallet or his appearance. There are the individual traits of the nature of man, which get woman similarly to magnet…
You must not “reject” the woman only because you is well-off, low, or plain.
REPEATED if you will skillfully manage the body language (which comes from confidence), you will force ANY woman to feel the same powerful sexual inclination, that you feel when you see tempting, sexual, young woman.

ERROR 8: Giving your entire energy to the women

Earlier we already examined this error in point 3: “It is not necessary constantly to be approved by the women, searching for their supports and approvals”. This error - somewhat generalized version of error 3.
Other similar tactics, utilized by a majority of guys, consists in the fact that they RETURN THEIR ENTIRE ENERGY to women.
Speaking in other words, guys try to conquer the love of woman, doing everything, what she not ask. Sequential poor idea…

ERROR 9: Not sure in your steps

Now we intend to somewhat subject your assumptions to doubt…
In reality, that woman always knows, what you think. Women approximately ten times better mind readers.
I know, it is difficult to believe this. But, for example, you are at the date with the woman and want to kiss her - SHE KNOWS ABOUT THIS. And if you do not exactly know how to do it, but only you sit, you look at her and nervous, then she will not help you! Even she will not attempt!
And so it will be in all situations. You do take her phone number, you do kiss her, you do invite to your home, she almost never will help you… In any situation you must act itself and must know for sure how start. If you do not know how to do it, you assuredly will do all wrong and you will be under the threat to LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW about this.
IT IS VITALLY important that you ACCURATELY know and checked each step, step by step… from the very first date, how to bring her (it?) to the bedroom.

ERROR 10: Unwillingness to accept help from her

This is - the largest error from all that above.
I know, guys do not love to appear weak or helpless. We do not love to request help.
Each man instinctively never tell the woman words “I know”, “I fear”, “I doubt” and so on.
Reading body language of man, woman makes the conclusion that we are confused, about our “weakness”, and “dependence” on the woman, our ability to love and to feel.
Man becomes closed, nervous and irritable. Woman sees all this, and such behavior by us does not please her. She need a man who is confident in himself, and his body language reports to the woman: “I am honest with you. I want you to accept that person, who is located inside me. If, you cannot do this, it is means, I was mistaken in you, and we go different roads”.

Advice on relationship

Birth of love is like period of enthusiastic childhood. We always experience emotional enthusiasm, joyous amazement and it is not of great importance if your darling is not better or more beautiful than other people.

Mysterious birth of love when no one of the partners can say why he loves the very man or woman is related to childish absolute love to a mother or father. But this period is short-term and soon a moment of disillusion comes. We start to look at each other more critically.

For someone it ends with disappointment and disgust, for others with indifference and calmness and only a few are able to keep feelings of pleasure being with each other. Harmonious loving couple should be partners in all fields of life, which is cultural, emotional and physiological.

Only that sensuality which supported by tenderness to your partner, combination of lofty and mental love with physical inclination gives exceptional completeness and brightness of sensations.

Can a couple be named entirely happy if it is billing and cooing all the time, avoiding conflicts in private life but not feeling the whole fullness of sensations in intimate relations? And will the alliance of a man and a woman be long and lasting if they are not able to discuss any question, always shout at each other and then roughly make it up in bed?

Criticism, Trust, Sacrifice, Rescuing, Commitment, Responsibility, Addiction

Criticism

There is negativity around whether you are aware of it or not. Criticism arises when what we experience doesn’t match up with what we want or expect. When we’re critical it means we are judging others and finding them lacking. Who are you criticizing? Is it a partner, potential partner or yourself? Are your standards fair? How would it feel to soften and accept that everyone has their strengths weaknesses?

The important thing to realize is that criticism feeds on itself and creates a negative spiral. When we feel critical we have locked ourselves into an isolated position where we make the other person our enemy. They don’t do or say what we want them to. They look wrong, act wrong, are wrong... We become the blamer. By making the other person totally in the wrong there’s nowhere to go to make things better.

If you judge someone’s behavior as inappropriate or not fitting with your own values you can deal with this without being critical. Accept it, confront it, talk about it, own it, but don’t just criticize or attack.

When we go to a critical place in our relationships or with ourselves or potential partners, we need to recognize that it causes more harm than good. Love works best when we’re on the same side. If either of you wins the relationship loses, so take some time out to look at what’s going on underneath.

Behind every criticism there’s a need. What do you need right now? What would you ask for if you were not so busy being tough on someone else? Ask and you will receive, as long as you do it without judging the giver. Start looking after yourself more carefully and take responsibility for your resentments at a much earlier stage. If you are really being treated badly stop criticizing and do something about it now.

Life and love are a lot more than you’re letting them be, so now is the time to make changes.

Trust

Now you need to have faith in this relationship or the potential for a relationship. Trust that the future will be well. That any difficulties will be resolved and that your dreams will be realized.

We all create our own realities with our beliefs and expectations. This is telling you that you can.

This brings our attention to the importance of trust between two people in order for them to have a successful relationship together. You need to be able to trust each other and both of you need to behave in a manner which is worthy of this trust. Make sure you’re absolutely clear what you are trusting each other about and then offer the gift of trust and trustworthy behavior to each other. If your trust has been damaged in the past, deal with your feelings about this now. You can learn to trust again. Base your trust on your true experience. Do not trust blindly, find someone worthy of you to redevelop this part of your nature. Start by developing trust in yourself. Be who you say you are. Be consistent and honest, reliable and true.

If you are struggling with anything right now then trust that you will soon see the benefits of your struggle. Remember that spring always follows winter. Out of struggle comes new growth.

What you focus on growth. Put all of your energies into envisaging the outcome that you desire, while trusting that the results will materialize. Don’t try to manipulate, this is about trust not effort. We don’t always get the outcome we want or expect, but what we do get always shows itself to be for the best in the long run. Organize yourself now to be ready for what which you are trusting will occur. Don’t wait for it to happen before you prepare. What we anticipate it drawn to us and trusting that we will get what we want is part of this process. See it as already accomplished. When you order food in a restaurant you don’t go in the kitchen to check it will be cooked. You trust it will arrive at your table and it does.

Assume your dreams are already in the cosmic kitchen and be ready for when they appear, as they surely will.




Sacrifice

The term sacrifice has religious connotations. Traditionally people made a sacrifice of something which they could have taken foe themselves, but instead chose to offer to their gods. They did this out of respect, generosity and a faith that they would be protected and provided for. This asks you to apply the same principles to your self.

This is a time when you need to put someone or something else ahead of your own immediate needs and personal desires. This is a time for sharing and generosity. Now the time to accept any apparent hardship or the need to go without, with absolute goodwill. At the same time you need to trust that in the long term you and your relationships will benefit. Take pleasure in your struggle as an investment in your future. Trust that there will be good reason behind it; this is not about pointless hardship or empty self-denial.

At the same time keep it in perspective. This isn’t about sackcloth and ashes. It isn’t about being irresponsible and making life as difficult as possible in the hope that the positive return be equally big. This is about facing the challenge. You need to be willing to put up with things being tough, with good grace, to put yourself out in some way, in your own long tem interest.

The whole notion of sacrifice sounds unpleasant and demanding. Well, this is a demanding time for you, but it doesn’t have to be unpleasant. It is all about interpretation. You can define it as you wish.

It is based on the idea of “sacrifice for greater gain”. Don’t give in or go under if things are difficult right now. You can survive this and more, if you have to. Don’t feel powerless. Work out the best way to support yourself and those you love and concentrate on making the best of things. This will pass.

Maybe the real sacrifice is to do exactly what you are avoiding, rather than tolerate things as they are. What extra effort could you make, that in this long run would benefit your relationship? Sometimes the sacrifice is to do the thing you’re most afraid of. If you are single, maybe the real sacrifice would be to go out there and meet someone, making yourself properly available and open to love. Or maybe it’s about holding back and concentrating on yourself first. Be honest about which is really the bigger sacrifice and then be brave and go ahead.

Rescuing

If you are doing too much for others and not looking after yourself properly this information is for you. When we are doing or saying something in order to protect others from the consequences of their own actions, we are rescuing. When we feel responsible for the people we care about and we rush in and try to protect them from anything that may cause them distress, we are rescuing. Often we think that rescuing is a good thing, but it is always inappropriate.

Stop and work out how you can untangle yourself from something which isn’t yours to resolve. Ask yourself who you are really trying to protect. It’s probably you who has the most invested in the outcome, rather than the person whose business it actually is. Did they ask for your help or have you taken over again?

One of the worst aspects of rescuing is that it is so patronizing. It is based on two premises. Firstly, that we know what is best for someone else, and secondly that they will be unable to cope with their feelings or the result of something, if we don’t interfere. It is very undermining.

Rescuing is an exhausting process. It leaves us drained and worn out, as we rush around trying to run someone else’s life as well as our own. If you are feeling hard done by for all of the effort you put into others and feel you don’t receive in return , Know that you are rescuing and that now is the time to stop!

Mind your own business. It sounds hard but it’s essential. If you want to stop feeling so bitter and hard done by. Leave your loved one to get on with things on their own. As an adult, they can cope. You may feel guilty. They may try their best to emotionally manipulate you to go back to being responsible for them, but don’t be drawn. They’ll thank you in the end. Anyone who lets themselves be rescued only end up feeling controlled, manipulated and angry. They bitterly resent the rescuer while feeling unable to break free and take responsibility for themselves.

Maybe you are hoping that a partner or potential partner will rescue you. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone would sort it all out for you and protect you from your responsibilities and from being grown up? No it wouldn’t. It breeds resentment and discontent. If you want your relationship to flourish, know the difference between support and interference and mind your own business while letting others mind theirs too.

Commitment

This has ultimate importance as an issue. All success in love and relationships rests upon the issue of commitment. Yet it is often the very issue that modern society teaches us least about. A commitment is a pledge, an obligation or a promise. It is something which exists in the present and which is also makes a claim on our future. It’s time to go back to basics and remind yourself what about commitment is actually all about. The first thing that you need to commit to is the need to have a healthy, loving supportive, monogamous, long term relationship. You deserve this and this is your right. Let yourself have it. Don’t make excuses. Commit to it and bring it into your life. If you don’t know how to do so, go to a good library or book shop and read about commitment. Talk to others in relationships, go to counseling. Do something to bring it about. When you commit to this and mean it, the rest will follow.

The crunch issue with commitment is that you are making a promise to yourself that you may not want to keep at a later date. For this reason put the bulk of your time and effort into being sure that you mean what you say. Make you word law. Only commit if you really mean it. A c is the explicit agreement to a restriction on our freedom or action. Committing to finding a relationship, will mean sticking with it through the scary bits too. Yet it is the only guaranteed route to success.

If you are in a relationship check on your commitment. Make sure that it is properly made. Make sure that you are living to it. Remind yourself that real commitment is not about bailing out when the going gets tough. It’s about and fighting for what is rightfully yours. It will bring you enormous pleasure.

If you or a partner are having difficulty with making a commitment, go easy on yourselves at first. Look at your fears. Deal with the past or any unfinished business. True commitment is a major decision and time is needed to properly judge whether it is appropriate. But make this finite. You don’t stand in a shop forever, do you? Shops close as windows of opportunity close. If you or they can’t decide, then the appropriate answer is no. Don’t stay in a relationship without commitment, it will not work and it will not make you happy.

Remember commitment and love are a part of each other; always treat them both with respect and you will reap the reward.

Responsibility

The essence of responsibility is the ability to respond (response-ability) reliably and appropriately. When we judge someone to be responsible it is because they can be relied upon to act in appropriate and relevant manner at all times. Responsibility contains within it the concept of consistency.

Nowadays we associate responsibility with the mundane tasks of life such as paying the bills and acting in a grown up manner. It is often dismissed as unappealing, even boring. But true love means being willing to take responsibility. It is the love in our hearts which motivates us to act in a consistently appropriate manner and it is through this that we create the depth and quality of our love.

Now it is the time to focus on how we are behaving towards ourselves, our partners or the potential for a relationship. Are you behaving appropriately? Are you treating yourself or your lover in a way that you can be proud of?

Ultimately we need to be responsible for ourselves and our behavior. The antitheses of responsibility are excuses and blame. It is always up to us. We need to respond to our needs for safety, food, shelter, warmth, self-esteem, friendship and good health. We need to respond to our psychological and spiritual needs too. Are you looking after yourself properly? Are you getting the rest and recuperation that you need to be fit to respond to all your other needs? Are you nurturing yourself sufficiently? Are you earning enough money or building up debt? Are you drinking too much or neglecting yourself? What do you need to change in your life to be properly equipped to meet your responsibilities? This will need addressing before a new or current relationship can flourish.

We must also remember that when we enter into a romantic relationship, we take on responsibilities to another as well as to ourselves. Are you taking responsibility for getting your needs met from your partner or are you relying on them to be a mind reader? Are you meeting and respecting their needs appropriately and sufficiently, while encouraging them to be responsible for communicating what these are? Are you keeping to any agreements you have made?

This reminds you that love flourishes when our behavior is consistent with who we say we are and what we say we will do. It calls for a level of maturity which is then rewarded by the quality of love it generates. No excuses, you can do it.

Addiction

This has rather a serious title because it covers a very serious topic. Think of it if there is addiction somewhere around your relationships.

This maybe an obvious physical addiction. Is someone drinking, smoking, eating, taking drugs, gambling in an addictive way? We can’t have successful relationships while we ignore our addictions. We need to deal with them. Yet most addictions are insidious. They are so much part of normal society, which is rife with addiction, that they are surrounded by denial. Who wants to admit that an addiction is really present? We use them to avoid the truth not to face it.

It is time to face the truth. Even the smallest step in the right direction is a start. One of the benefits of our addictive society is that there is now so much affordable help for addicts. You only have to reach out and you’ll find it. Pick up the phone, ask your GP, enquire at the library, or write to a problem page. Help is at hand.

It maybe your partner, ex-partner or future partner who has the obvious addiction but there is a clue to your own addictive process in your attraction to them.

Addictions are about trying to avoid our feelings. We feel compelled to do something to distract ourselves from which would be painful, uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Instead we act addictively, anything will do as long as it works to keep us from the feelings we are trying to avoid. We use work, shopping or TV, not just alcohol. Relationships are another socially acceptable form of addiction. When we can’t bear to be apart, when we are intoxicated with love it’s often hard to see it as addiction. But when this goes on past the honeymoon period, or if things are very volatile, and we can’t live together or apart, these are signs that we are using someone else to avoid our feelings.

The good thing is that the feelings which we are trying to avoid are actually bearable. It is the energy collected while avoiding them that makes them feel unbearable. Yet if we start to let them come and accept them, they gradually diminish and we learn that we can survive them. Be brave. Recognize the addiction, inhibit the usual attempt to avoid your feelings and dare to have them. They won’t last or overwhelm you even if you‘re afraid that they will. True love lives on the far side of addiction and the only route there’s through your feelings. You can do it.

Love

Love is talked about, written about and sung about endlessly. We hear about the excitement, the thrill and the joy of love, or the pain, hurt and sadness when it goes wrong. And we come to expect that if we are feeling these emotions we are experiencing love.

But none of there images and descriptions explains the true meaning of love, and because of this we look for love without any idea of what it is and what it will really mean for us either to give or to receive it. Are you searching for an idealized version of love? Do you feel you love someone without really knowing who they are? Do you say you love someone you don’t like or trust? Then it is time to look at what you really know and understand about love. Remember that love develops over tome. It’s not appropriate to open your inner self to someone you have just met, no matter how attracted to them you are. For real love to develop both partners must be willing to enter into the relationship and grow and learn together. Love isn’t chasing after someone who is running away from you; it isn’t letting yourself be smothered, hurt or put down and it isn’t going along with what someone else wants. Love is best taken slowly, so give yourself time to get to know the other person and to judge whether they are worthy of the love you have to give. Are you both ready to commit to the challenge of nurturing and sharing a growing love?

Loving another person means going behind the public shop window you present, where you display what you feel is acceptable about yourself and instead you share the fears, doubts, dreams and hopes you keep locked away. It involves being brave, honest and open and letting another person get to know the parts of you which you feel are the least loveable and acceptable. It means opening up your most vulnerable inner self and learning to trust someone enough to let them come close and then even closer.

Being in a loving relationship with another person involves talking responsibility for yourself and accepting that their feelings, beliefs and wishes are different from yours but just as valid, and letting go of trying to change them.

Above all love is knowing and being known for who you truly are with complete acceptance. To know another and to let yourself be known in this way is the most rewarding, joyous and nourishing experience life has to offer.

You can be very excited. Imagine that someone just gave you the energy of a power station to achieve whatever it is that you are trying to achieve.

There are a wealth of possibilities for you relationship or your potential relationship and the power for your to direct you life lies with you. This doesn’t dismiss or disrespect the power of your partner or a potential partner, it simply emphasises that you are more powerful, right now, that you realize.

Be clear and direct without being overwhelming. State what you want clearly and concisely and then start organizing how to get it, without disrespecting other or trying to control. Remember that you have no power over anyone, but yourself. If you give your power away and let your partner dictate everything, you will make yourself powerless.

Don’t waste your power focusing on someone else. This is about you. What do you want that you can organize or manifest for yourself, with regard to relationships? You may need to break it all into smaller parts to accomplish your dream, but that is only technique. Know that the power is large.

Find ways to feel your power and feed your power, without becoming oppressive. Say ‘no’ when you mean ‘no’. Make changes in your health, diet, finances, home, which reflect the fact that you have the power to shape your own life. Read other people’s biographies for inspiration. This relationship isn’t happening or about to happen to you. You are making it happen. Now is the time to acknowledge this and to shape it to work for you.

You are powerful.

Brief manual for translating from the men's language.

It's known that men and women don't talk the same language. Yes, they are phonetically similar. They pronounce the same words and even structure the sentences in a way we do. But it doesn't mean anything. Because they attach another sense to the words they say.

It works equally well from the grammatical and lexical points of view. A noun for us could be a linking verb or an interjection for them. You don't believe? O.K. Ask one of your friends what he means saying: "I will care about you forever". I guarantee - you'll be amazed by the result.

Even if a men language could seem easy at first, it is more difficult than china hieroglyphs and more mysterious than Maya's scriptures. A woman needs the knowledge of the men's language every day and every hour. But while bookshops abound in French, Italian, Japanese dictionaries you could hardly find a single manual for translating from the men's language. Our brief manual for translating from the men's language will help you start your trip into a mysterious world of men. Here only the most necessary phrases are illustrated. The men's language can't be learned, it could only be understood. And today you do the first step to it.

A little of practice.

	He says	He means
	I will think about it(giving up smoking, renovating our apartment, going to the sea together)	but not until you start asking me about it again and again, dear.
	I will stay in the office long into the evening, I have a lot of work	after the work I'm going to a bar with my friends.
	Could I spend one single evening in a week without announcing you my plans?	After the work I'm going to a bar with my friends.
	I would help you to clean the apartment with pleasure, but I took the work for the weekend	I would stare into the computer all day long if only it helps me to escape the process of vacuuming.
	We will go to see your mother together	but spending a day in the corridors of the Spanish inquisition would give me more pleasure.
	You don't think about anybody but yourself!'	The tea you gave me is not hot enough.
	We're talking about work with my friend. Go and try to amuse yourself for 10 minutes.	Don't disturb us in an hour - we are discussing the advantages and the shortcomings of the gta3 I already decided to buy yesterday.
	From tomorrow I will start looking after the house.	Tomorrow I'll change the bulb in the bathroom if only if you'll remind me of doing it.
	Do you want me to help you to prepare the dinner?	I can read you some articles from a journal while you peel the potatoes.
	You career is of the same importance as mine	if only every evening you have time to prepare the dinner.
	Wow. She is beautiful!	I know the person who I could ask for her phone number.
	She is ordinary, nothing special	but if you look more carefully I will however try to get her phone number.
	Bodybuilders not look hot	I don't know what prevents me from going to the fitness club. But I will never admit it.
	Only those not sure of themselves could be jealous. I'm not jealous	but I will try to get the address of the guy you danced with in order to observe him day and night.
	You are all my life!	I can't imagine how could I make coffee in the morning and not to lose my tie if I was single.
	The dinner is wonderful!	Cooking should be all on you.
	Today I will come home earlier	but you'd better not to wait me to go to bed together.
	I'm sorry, you were right	I'm ready to say whatever you wish to make you keep silent for a half an hour, my dear.

Of course, the list is not complete. Every man could have his particular dialect. If you can add to the list we would appreciate your comments.

A Strategy and Tactic of a date

Dates are a topic everyone always wants to know about, because many people want to be safe, using clever "instructions" to avoid coming to grief. So, if you want to invite your flame to a date, go forward!

But you should do it only once. If you offer her or him to meet in any pleasant place to spend there not less pleasant time, and then receive a polite refusal, it’s not worth calling him or her for a date the second time (or the third, the fifth, or the eleventh time). Why not?

It is elementary, Watson. You are not wanted, so do not bother. There are stubborn persons who are ready to repeat their playful offer ten and more times for sporting interest, and eventually to achieve the goal. But is it worthy?. Even if owing to such persistence a boyfriend reaches a result, relations are "deformed" from the beginning, so nothing will come of a such love affair. And, the second variant is possible: having rejected your first offer, the girl really does not object to dealing with you. She’s simply checking to see whether it is possible to twist you round her little finger. Do you want that? To my mind, it is silly and humiliating. Don't you agree?

By the way, it is not out of the question, that, having refused you and seeing your absolutely quiet and cool reaction to the event, the girl will be seized with the idea: "Why did I reject him? He accepted it so well, and in general, this young man conducts himself independently, he has the feeling of confidence and self-respect … " And, having thought a little, she might approach you and say something like the following: "Listen, do you remember, you invited me to sit in a cafe? Two weeks ago, do you remember? I was very busy then, besides I had some troubles with my health. But now I am right and feeling well". And then you should really go with her in that cafe where you looked to have your first date. She’s one to keep.

Be the "qualitative" lover. It seems to you, that you are such already--and even may be more. However, no one can have too much knowledge and skill in this area. Look, how much has been written about how to handle love relationships? Do not neglect this huge layer of the knowledge, kept by mankind. To be overzealous in this direction is impossible. Besides, this reading material can be enjoyable.
Once you get a date, never lower your standards. Basically, it is not required with normal girls. But there are some who are not so normal, and they want men. Many of them, alas, perceive a relationship as a boxing ring where they should win or die. It is better not to communicate with such girls. But the trouble is that these tendencies might not be seen right away. And even if they can, they might not be shown in general since the first dates are not the person, who "caves in". Quite the contrary you behave easy and fittingly, as a leader.

Some especially beautiful girls are deeply corrupted with young men's "caving in". They are accustomed to consider, that their incomparable beauty and fantastic charm are the guarantee that a boyfriend will be on his knees, standing on his head, with pleading hands, in any pose - and all these to win the beautiful "flower". But, many of them are not guilty of it; they behave as the sovereign because boyfriends trained them in such manners, accustomed them to it.

Your internal pride, independence, and self-sufficiency will become the best medicine against such abnormal sights in the world and on men, as a component of the world. "Re-educate" her. Eventually, the way in which she understands (used to understand) the relations with the opposite sex, is a serious deviation from social norms and obviously does not promote the adequate perception of a reality. You can present her the feeling of a reality. She will be grateful to you for it (though she will never admit it).

Single again? Here is fifty inspiring thoughts

It is of no importance whether you have been quarreling all night long or sorted out your relations in 15 minutes. The result is the same--your partner is gone. You are alone. Don't cry. There is another option--to occupy yourself with something useful. Here is the list.

1. Find all your photos with your ex-boyfriend and put them into a photo album. It is a part of your life, after all.

2. If you suffer with insomnia recall all his pretensions on your account. Don't get upset if you'd fall asleep before reaching the twenty fifth. You see, it is a good hypnotic.

3. Make a list of all those who wer close to you, chased you, dated you. The length of the list will surprise you.

4. Plan something really outstanding. For example, renovating your apartment within 3 months or going abroad within 6 months. Start preparing right now.

5. Do something that irritated him: spend three hours making yourself ready for your friend's birthday, eat a kilogram of shrimps or monopolize the telephone till dawn.

6. Go to some place where, as you think, nobody goes alone: cinema, cafÈ, night club will be good. Down with any stereotype!

7. Imagine 10 super original plans of vengeance on your ex-partner. Be surprised at the power of your imagination and then forget them the next day. Your life goes on!

8. If one of those plans doesn't leave you alone - start writing a detective story.

9. Try to remember all his disgusting habits and be happy they are in your past.

10. Try to remember all his best qualities. You are a happy woman to have known him.

11. Organize a great party.

12. Revise your wardrobe. Throw out everything you don't need and make a list of things you need to buy.

13. Try to find in your wardrobe some pieces of clothes he didn't like, give them a new life.

14. Schedule your spare time a week in advance. Away with long dreary evenings!

15. Bring order to your vanity, purse and to a shelf in your bathroom. Throw out everything you don't need and buy something new.

16. Think out a few continuing activities: start completing a gigantic puzzle or making a carnival costume for the child of your friend in order to resist depression.

17. Try to learn doing something better than others do it: to make a pizza, to play tennis, to take photos. Hurry up: you are in for a new relationship and then you won't have time for your hobbies.

18. Make a bet with your friend: how many love novels you will read before you meet a new man.

19. Start keeping a record of your expenses and incomes. Now you can plan your budget all by yourself.

20. Surprise your parents: go to see them or invite them to dinner at your place.

21. Buy a new perfume. Find something completely different from the old one.

22. Organize a seance of card-reading with your friends.

23. Repair all electric appliances in your apartment. Demonstrate them to your friends and say: “You see how it goes when there is no man in the house”.

24. Subscribe to new newspapers and magazines. Start your weekends reading them during breakfast.

25. Think out the organization of your next birthday. Try to make the most original arrangement in your life.

26. Interrupt everyone who will discuss your ex-boyfriend. Say: “I don't care about him”. Praise yourself for your brilliant self-control.

27. Make a list of places where you could meet the man of your dreams. Think out your appearance and behavior so that he notices you.

28. Add to this list constantly and widen your horizons: swimming pool, sport shop, dog exhibition.

29. Read a few books concerning male psychology. Fit their postulates to your own experience.

30. Create your last relationship in the form of a sculpture or other work of art. Choose an appropriate way to express your emotions.

31. Buy new DVDs and CDs - ones you really like.

32. Acquire a few new habits, for example, to have your evening cup of tea on the balcony.

33. Become acquainted with your neighbors. If you would like them you would have one more source of positive emotions.

34. Do what you can to help someone close to you.

35. Visit the school you finished. Meet your ex-teachers and classmates.

36. Make a party on account of the start of a new life without him: only close friends, good wine, singing and complaints about how ungrateful the men are.

37. Stick to a diet - only in order to convince yourself that when there isn't grilled meat and French fries you are able to be on a diet.

38. Make a strike to your kitchen. Try to eat something simple. Feel yourself being absolutely unpractical.

39. Nevertheless make supplies for the winter and feel yourself being super practical.

40. Brighten your working place with a few photos of your dog, multicolored folders and a vivid notebook.

41. Buy a new coffee cup.

42. Make a romantic ritual of the process of taking a bath. Try different bath foam: with milk, honey or herbal flavors.

43. Write a long and detailed letter to someone.

44. Grow something extraordinary on your balcony, for example, a lemon tree.

45. Look around and throw out everything that irritates you in your apartment.

46. Buy a saving box for coins. Once a month empty it and offer yourself a small present.

47. Play a trick on one of your friends without waiting for April 1.

48. Phone someone you have not talked with for years.

49. Say in your office that you have no spare time at all in order to escape working late into the night as a single person.

50. Flirt with someone without any intention to have a serious relationship. Thank God, you are a single woman now and you can allow it!

Vampires And Donors

OK, there are no vampires. At now there aren’t any of them. But if we study a man like a receptacle of energy, we can divide all the people into donors and vampires. The first ones are able to get life energy from the cosmos. The second ones have to take it from the other people. And notice that they have to do it but they don't do it on purpose. A vampire can even know nothing about his inclination and he just manages to do it.

You begin a quarrel, make him hopping mad, he explodes (i.e. he throws his energy away) and you get your dose. Maybe you've noticed that there are such people who tell others bad things just to get a kick out of it? Or about very distrustful girls who argue for any reason? Or about easily hurt creatures who think that everybody is guilty before them and who make these people justify themselves? These are the energetic vampires!

Do you recognize yourself? Or him? Yes? So your second half is a vampire as well as you. And two vampires can't live under one roof. You'll always be taking the energy from each other and will never be satisfied. But it just sounds too terrible and mystical. And in life it is terrible and mystical, as usual.

Each talk ends with the domestic debate. And no matter what it is about: about weather or about tomorrow's rate. Dear, the sun will be shining. Dear, the rain will be cats and dogs. and I say there will be sun! oh why are you so stubborn?! if you don't like me, find another one! The end is a broken plate or a life-long offence. Do you know what it is? A favorite method of vampires. They start intellectual arguments and are not silent until the sacrifice accepts their point of view. The sacrifice donor will do just this very thing. He'll end the war without the fight, stroke you on your head and say that you're the cleverest woman. But a sacrificial vampire will try to prove that he's right. And he will make you suffer and be tired. And you'll do he same with him. And you'll go to the different rooms or maybe even flats. But soon you'll be together again. Because it's a pleasure to have a talk with an intelligent person.

You come home from work (everything is going wrong, your boss is angry) and you understand that nobody will cook the dinner except yourself. And nobody loves you and feels sorry for you! You sit on the sofa and begin to think about the difficulties of woman's life. It's a very terrible picture! And although your beloved is a vampire, he's a person too: Dear, are you unwell? And in response here is only a look filled with suffering. If he was a donor he would fill you with his energy: cook the dinner, serve it near the sofa where you sit, wash the dishes and sing a lullaby. But he doesn't have spare energy, he's a vampire. All he can do is ask the same question: My dear, what's wrong with you? As if he couldn't understand by himself! Will you tell me at last what's wrong with you?! He is annoyed. I couldn't have the right to know? He slams the door. But don't imagine that you are a sacrifice. You are the ringleader. And you've started the scandal in a very masterly way. Vampires would be proud of you. Because driving somebody out of his wits is the second method they widely use.

But a crown vampire's trick is criticism. Most likely the original wicked sense of humor has brought you together. Is the pleasure very big: if you tell somebody a stinging remark, he will fail and won't talk to you any more. But this very man is of another kind! He can find any answer and your first dating was like reckless slanging-match. You are happy together. It's interesting for you both to talk to each other for half a year or for a year. And then he tells one morning: Darling, you shouldn't wear these jeans, they will burst on you. And you go to the work in a skirt and with a bad mood. And in the evening (not because of the revenge but because of your bad mood) you notice: Dear, didn't your mother teach you how to use a knife and a fork? I feel shy to have a dinner with you in a good place. And during the rest of your life you will be breeding complexes in each other.

But the consciousness that you deserve each other (with such a sense of humor and with this quantity of shortcomings) will hold you together for a long time.

Men and seasons.

A man in spring.

In spring a man awakes. After a long winter's “hibernation” he is ready to jump on anything that moves and the first woman in a mini-skirt is like a sun beam for him. His mental activity ties up - he has a lot of problems at work, and he sees a woman as a means to distract himself from it.

Spring is not an easy season for the male sex. He is not awakened yet from the winter, he could hardly keep in pace with the blooming nature and the summer is just round the corner. Spring is a time of complexes and fears. A man takes his hat off and discovers he's lost a lot of hair and everybody would notice it. Then he takes off his coat and discovers that he's gained weight and his muscles have drooped. This transitional period goes painfully; a man lacks vitamins and becomes nervous. The conception that a man is more sexually active in spring is not right. He is nervous, jealous, uncontrollable and conflicted. In brief, you'd better not to touch him from March till May. Because from timid and pacific he could turn into a dangerous psycho. There is nothing surprising - a simple spring aggravation.

A man in summer.

A man in summer could be compared to Pooh - a glutton, mad on sweets and a sponger. All his spring worries are in the past, the work is in the background and a man starts a full-value life. Summer is the season of holidays, faithlessness, passing flirtations, one night stands, etc. Summer is the peak of his sexual activity. His temperament is stimulated by hot weather. It is not for nothing that southern men are considered insatiable: there is an interdependence between heat and sexual conduct. His mental activity dulls, he is joyful and careless. He is proud of his sunburn and strong muscles and he uses his head primarily to get something to eat. A man is very kind in summer. He is very generous to his partner and feeling as a delinquent cat is able to compromise. He is like a cake - soft, tender and sweet that finishes too quickly. Summer is transient and you should wait till next year.

A man in autumn.

A man in autumn fades like a rose bush. He is tired after his summer revelry. Rainy weather makes him depressed. A man in autumn is absolutely useless. Moreover, he is often down with some disease. He groans, complains about pain in his spine and a callosity on his heel. That's why when you have an opportunity to flirt with someone on the side don't lose your chance. Everything will be alright. He will not even suspect you. By the end of November his melancholy and depression are gone and he starts working hard. As to his sexual life - it's better to wait a little with it. He needs sleep.

A man in winter.

A man in winter is an indifferent snowman with a philosophical turn of mind, occupied with his work and family. He doesn't refuse sex - it is a way to get warm. A woman is like a hot-water bottle, she adds comfort and warmth to his life. It is for her that he works and earns money. Since he is physically less active there are a lot of ideas in his head. His mind starts working. During this period he makes plans for the future, changes his life radically and gets a promotion. Especially, he likes to realize his plans on the eve of the New Year's Day in order to start a new life from January 1. In winter his mind wins over his body. In winter he is more faithful to his wife, he spends more time at home with his children, he lies on the sofa more often and thinks. His thought are very fruitful in this period so you'd better not distract him.

There are some advices on how to behave with an average man and what actions to undertake and when it'd be better to leave him alone and to wait a better period.

A romantic date. If you like him and you're dreaming of dating him you'd better organize it in summer. This is the only season when he is well-balanced, romantic and is able to focus his attention only on you. The only drawback is his light-mindedness. But if you attract him in the end of August you risk being with him during the whole autumn.

Quarrels and reproaches. You'd better not to put them off till spring. In spring he is irritated by any small thing. Your spring quarrel could be the last for both of you. But if you've decided to break up with him spring is the best season to do it. If you want to part without a scandal you'd better do it in autumn. Probably, your conversation will be long but at least you will not risk scenes.

Relaxation. If you want to visit your ex boy-friend you could do it without any risk in autumn. Of course, only then he will be in mood to do it. As to your partner, he would hardly notice that blush on your cheeks, those long telephone conversations, a new dress in your wardrobe or bunches of flowers.

Plans for the future. A man prefers to make plans in winter. Give him such an opportunity and make a hint you could plan together. You'd better start that conversation on the New Year Eve. But remember, till spring all your common projects have to be realized. Because in spring a man is unpredictable, he could easily change his mind.

Since a man is a vulnerable creature you should take care of him. As the weather could change his character, your task is to cover him in winter and to switch on a conditioner in summer, give him an umbrella in autumn and buy vitamins in spring. Only such a cherished man will make you feel a real woman and not an attendant of an ambulance.

Unrequited love.

Statistically, one third of suicides are caused by unrequited love. The choleric hopelessly in love would jump out of the window, cut veins and swallow overdose of pills, the melancholic would weep in her pillow.

You know, there is really no unrequited love. At all. This situation with a clinical psycho in the main role is a completely invented story. Let's analyze this situation.

Modern mass media cultivates an image of a fatal damned wretch who is not afraid of any difficulties. If you are not of that type any magazine will state: you are full of complexes. People suffering from a lack of reciprocity become obsessed with an idea to conquer their ideal. And there they are, magazines that tell you:

"Go for it" and propose you to consult their detailed manuals in order to win the man of your life. Such manuals are accompanied, as a rule, by photos of beautiful women with decisive look. You look at them and think to yourself:

"Yes, she will succeed".

An inner voice whispers to you:

"Are you really as bad as you think?"

No, you answer and start to make a plan of conquering your Mr. X. This is the first step of a ladder that leads to nowhere. Instead of thinking less about a person who wouldn't faint seeing your beauty and intelligence, you start a game. At first, it is amusing, then you are carried away and have nothing but your Mr. X on your mind. The more you focus on him, the more you "fall in love" with him and you will never admit that this feeling is invented by you.

So, you made up your mind to charm your hero. Practically all the magazines propose the same tactics: you should go to the hairdresser's, change your wardrobe. When you see that notorious Mr. X you should always smile, sympathize with his everyday problems and do something really unexpected from time to time - then, they say, Mr. X would surely admire you.

Maybe you will be disappointed but such plans could be realized too rarely. Only those worked out by professional psychiatrists knowing all weakness of the subject could be a success.

For those hopelessly in love there is an advice - it is easier to forget Mr. X than to make him love you. Look at yourself from a psychiatrist's point of view. Thoughts about him take all your moral and physical forces. You spend the major part of your time looking for him. Aren't you fed up with it? Try to answer a few questions. Be honest.

* Why do you need Mr. X?
* Why is he better than Mr. Y from the department next to yours?
* Are you sure that your colleague hasn't invented the fact that Mr. X was single?
* What do you know about him?
* Do you like to be considered as an unlucky person by your friends?

Your answers are predictable. You understand that Mr. X gives nothing but problems. But your heart tells you otherwise.

Here are a few psychological tips:

1. Order yourself to think about Mr. X no more than three times a day. If you don't manage to control yourself switch to something else - start to read a book, check your computer for the absence of viruses.

2. Even our grandmothers know: "Out of sight, out of heart". Try to communicate less with him. It is difficult but efficient. It is silly to quit because of him but try to drop the habit to spend a launch pause in his bureau.

3. Never ever talk about him with your friends.

4. Try not to watch soap operas, not to read love novels. Don't do anything that makes you think about your tragic destiny.

5. Don't feel sorry for yourself.

6. Try to invent a hobby - your head should be constantly occupied.

7. Make a list of Mr. X's shortcomings. Try to look at him from a critical point of view.

8. And finally, look at Mr. Y from the department next to yours. Not too bad, is he?

Anger

Why he makes you angry when you shouldn't be angry with him.

“You always make an elephant out of an anthill”! - he yells. You are on the point of crying, your voice is trembling and you can’t manage to control yourself and not to bite him. Anyway, he deserves it, you think. Why doesn’t he notice that some of his actions irritate you…

Stop! Being irritated is of no use. You don't think that he specially intends to make you angry. Maybe there is anything rational in his words? Even if there isn't try to be loyal to his weaknesses as you do with your own ones. Then your problems will be solved all by themselves.

1. This is the third time he says you should think about your body.

Maybe you thought a thousand times that it's time to start visiting swimming pool or to join a fitness club? If you did - why are you offended with the truth then? Like it or not but a man loves with his eyes. So he is not delighted with seeing a less and less attractive body every day. Moreover, he thinks that looking good means not only doing a perfect make-up and changing your clothes regularly. Especially if he is into sports himself. Cast aside your wounded self-esteem. It'll become clear that your boyfriend gave you advice that’s to the point. Why not to follow it?

But… if he claims anything of that type in public - then it isn't called honesty but bad manners. If he is stupid enough to think that such humiliation would make you work at self-improvement, then he is rather indifferent to you. Do you need such a person by your side? Think about it.

2. He leaves his things wherever he wishes - you find his shirt in an armchair and his cup on a book-shelf…

As a rule, a man has a very strange vision of comfort. This is not a question of beauty of the furniture but its functionality that worries him. Maybe your partner puts his cup on a book-shelf not because he wants to pour his tea onto your love novels but because he can take it without rising from a sofa. If this is the case, why to deprive him of these comforts? If a shirt on an armchair irritates you, it is not so difficult to put it into the box for dirty linen. He will appreciate your care.

But… if he causes disorder and then asks you to help him to find something - a handkerchief, a tie, his keys - be careful. Disorder in his things may be a reflection of disorder in his life. He is too infantile to cope with his problems all by himself. Maybe one day he will grow up and won’t need a mother any more. Till then you'll have to fulfill the duties of his mother. Of course, if you have a desire to take care of a “child”…

3. Everybody liked your new suit but he says critically: “I think it doesn't suit you…”

Probably, the thing you like about your new suit is the thing he doesn't like about it. For example, he admires that feminine aspect in you, that's why he considers a suit in business style is not right for you. In this case you shouldn't worry on account of his remark. However, you are inclined to believe your partner and not your colleagues who don't have any particular reason to take your appearance to heart. At least, if none of your colleagues asks the address of the boutique where you have bought your suit, you have a reason to worry.

But… if your boyfriend criticizes your clothes often, if he doesn't like the way you look, the way you dress and put on make-up - how have you managed to attract him then? It is not difficult to guess. He belongs to a category of people who obtain their self-affirmation by humiliating a person close to them. The objective of his critical remarks is not to make you change your clothes (if you do this he will find another reason to seize on). The principal thing for him is to make you feel diffident. It makes him feel more self-confident. In this case the best way out for you is to disappear from his life.

4. He never washes the bathtub after taking a shower…

There is nothing pleasant in this situation. But don't you think a man should have at least one really grave shortcoming? After all, it is not so difficult to clean the bathtub by yourself - and he, he could wash the dishes meanwhile.

But…if sometimes he forgets even to take a shower try to explain him that you are very squeamish and you cannot go to bed with a man who has not taken a shower before. He will have to give up his dislike of water in your favor. There is another variant which is simpler - propose to him to take the evening shower together…

5. He is late from work and refuses to tell you the experiences of the day.

What to be offended with? Is there anything more natural than the desire to forget official duties till the next day and to have rest at your place? Especially if the day was long and difficult. If after work you need to share your emotions concerning your failures and successes with someone, a man, as a rule, tries to distract from all this. Let him alone and you'll see sooner or later he will tell you everything you want to know.

But…if he returns late every time you ask him to help you with something - to install a computer program, to repair a wall outlet - stop trusting his excuses and try to look for rational explanations of his delays. Maybe your partner is not ready enough to keep the house together with you. Think if you burden him too much with cares in the house he doesn't consider to be his. Don't try to bring him closer by such risky methods. Trying to defend his independence he would just disappear one day.

6. He said he would take his son from the previous marriage on holiday with you.

You would probably have difficulties to win the child's favor. But if you are serious about your future together you will have to do it. Look at the situation from another angle: he doesn't want to be a weekend father, he does his best to care about his child. You shouldn't worry, it is rather a reason to be sure in your partner. You could be sure he will take care of you and your future children (if there are any on your list).

But…if he plans to take his ex-wife as well - attention! Maybe he tells you that she is already in his past but his behavior proves quite the contrary. Probably, he hasn't dotted all the i’s in their relations - such an ambiguity is fraught with unpleasant surprises for you. The most reasonable thing you could do is propose not to see each other for some time. Ask him to phone you when his affairs with his ex-wife are all arranged.

7. During the party he managed to pay a compliment to every lady.

There is no better way to impress your interlocutor than to admire him/her. He understands it as well as you do. Admit that you get pleasure from other men's compliments. So why do you grow irritated with the author of compliments? Maybe because they are not for you? But look, he has already made his main compliment to you - he chose you among all other women. You should be proud!

But…if he forgets about you and get so carried away that you feel like being not wanted here - you shouldn't expect fidelity from him. In this case don't lose your time and look around you. Maybe you would be lucky to find someone more careful.

8. He always makes great plans.

He is going to become the head of a supermarkets chain or to get the Nobel prize? Or he dreams of buying a villa on Hawaii? You lose your temper at his words because you know that he is not into position of taking decisions in his office and has never been abroad. And what? Supermarkets owners and the possessors of the Nobel prizes also started with something of that type one day. Probably with your support he would have a chance to realize his dreams or will get a promotion at least. It is not so bad, isn't it? You should know that if you will constantly tell him his plans are unrealizable he will change his plans on your account…

But…if his plans vary constantly - last he wanted to be a customs inspector, yesterday - an auto mechanic and today he decides to study law - such instability is in the nature of a … schoolboy. And even if he finished his school long ago, from a psychological point of view he is still a boy: naÔve, infantile and flighty. He will change his plans for the future million times before he starts realizing some of them. So if you plan your relations in advance you lose you time. He is not ready for a serious relationship. But you can console yourself - thanks to his careless nature he is a perfect partner for a party.

9. He tries to acquaint you again and again with the latest news from the world of football. And you, you don't make head or tail of it. Couldn't he just find another theme to talk about?

It is a wonderful opportunity for you to share his interests - use it. If you will continue to demonstrate your indifference to his passions, don't wait. He would pay attention to things interesting to you. Nobody forces you to accompany him to the match. But to have a general idea why those people run with a ball would be quite interesting for you.

But… if during the fight for the remote-control he refuses to give in, this incapability to find a compromise should make you reflect on his account. If he is not able to meet your wishes in future you risk having to sort out your relationship constantly.

10. He is skeptical about your career success. According to his opinion, if you took the initiative you'd be a boss.

You know you have the potential. But to change a fixed course of life and to make a first step on a career ladder is not as simple as it seems. If there is a person who could help you - you should be happy.

But…if he thinks that business is for men only and a woman should stay at home in order to care about children and to prepare dinner - his views on the structure of the family are extreme. Don't try to make him change his mind. The best way out is to break up with him. At parting leave him a telephone number of an agency proposing services at home - at least it will be the solution to the problem of dinner for the time he is looking for his ideal…

Online dating phenomenon

Why is the phenomenon of online dating is so popular?

He was perfect. Blond, blue-eyed and tall. Smart, educated, sharp and not too sentimental. Their interests were the same: horses, traveling, books, romance. Even in his name there was something romantic - he was called the Polar Star. She didn't know his other name yet. She fell in love with him and he, as she thought, reciprocated her feelings. They met every single day. She was making plans. Her future seemed bright and joyful. But the Polar Star behaved like a typical polar bear: after two months he disappeared for good. She didn't leave hope, she tried to write him but received no answer. She was in despair and even considered suicide. The story is rather banal, you'd say.

Maybe he was not tall and blond but short red-haired and ugly. But she would never find it out because she has never seen him. And if he stepped on her foot in an overcrowded bus she would not appreciate the moment: her sweetheart touched her for the first time.

You would probably say that the poor girl had to go to the doctor as it is only the insane who could fall in love the way she did. But no, she is not like that. She just has a computer. The computer which allows going online where you could find whatever you wish from marketing studies to intimate revelations of a gay. Having spent a few days (or rather, a few nights) online you could find something that you are really interested in. You are not lonely in your interests. There is always someone who shares them. There, where we find friendship, love could be found as well.

The structure of the Internet allows you to choose a way of communicating just as in the real world. You are free to join any conversation the subject of which attracts you - there are chats for this. You could also ask a question and leave your email address - you will certainly receive an answer. Don't forget about different types of messengers permitting you to contact another person in real time.

Being on the Internet you are free to create any image you wish, to become a person you could only dream of being in real life, to invent your own little theater and to perform either a kind fairy or a damned wretch. You are sure to stay absolutely unpunished. Nobody will see your face or find out where you live until you decide to reveal it. The Internet is a place where men and women could realize their fantasies if their life is boring and routine or have a rest from a vortex of events. It is difficult to imagine another way of communication for a person who is afraid to contact another person directly because he considers himself too fat, too spotted, insufficiently hairy and so on. A computer sifts out all his complexes as a sieve, creates an additional reality, a model of the world submitted to his rules. If dissatisfaction and loneliness make your real life, there is nothing more natural than to obtain love and comprehension in another world. But for make it work you should be sincere.

Using a computer to such a purpose is as normal as to vacuum an apartment, to boil a kettle, or to switch on a TV set. The whole life of some individuals - from friendship to the first date and from flirting to the wedding details - is arranged through the Internet. Those especially enthusiastic could even marry online.

The main difference of an online relationship is the fact that you don't see the person you communicate with. On the one hand, it makes your relations more pure and free from different conditions (appearance, social status), and on the other hand, lack of contact causes a lot of problems. Your conversation reminds me of that of two blind deaf mutes. A person doesn't express his thoughts only by words. There are also facial expression, smell, gestures, habits - that can't be transmitted by verbal communication.

Lacking concrete information about your online partner your brain starts to fill in the blanks with your own fantasies, so you endow your object with qualities he doesn't possess. And when you meet (you meet as a rule because any love, even the most sublime, would die if not fed by something more concrete - at least by contemplation of your prince's mortal body), instead of your prince you see a farmer with a disgusting habit of leaving his socks on the kitchen table.

It would be a mistake to think that virtual romance is only for those who are lonely. Some time ago the cases of divorce where one of the partners accuses another of online infidelity became more frequent, so married people are not devoid of passion as well. The question of whether online relationship is a case of adultery or not is defined by the moral values of a particular family. From a logical point of view, such type of infidelity can't be attributed full value because there is no physical contact.

On the other hand, a couple could live in harmony for years sharing not only their experiences of a passed day but also some intimate things. There is an interesting fact that people went through a virtual relationship keep blaming themselves as if they committed adultery in reality.

To what extent could sensations from online love be real? Online feelings don't differ from those of the real world - jealousy, sufferings, melancholy, disputes and reconciliations are the same. The subject of jealousy is not a real husband or wife but a possible online rival. Is it rational to explain all this to your friends and relatives? No, it isn't, if they are not into it themselves. Otherwise, don't even try or you risk being sent to a psychiatrist.

Sometimes online romance attracts more than real relationship, because a very strong interpersonal contact develops inside a couple - it is comprehension that we lack so often. This is love that aroused from friendship, love where there is no place for the aspect of physical appearance.

The Internet is full of those who can help the beginners in their search for love. Here is some advice:

* don't be in a hurry. The faster you build your relationship, the faster you risk to lose the interest in your partner. If you are looking for a serious relationship take your time.
* exchange your photos before a date - maybe you'd better not to test your destiny.
* don't lie, don't present yourself as a person you are not - you could let go a good variant.
* don't exchange your telephone numbers until you are sure in your partner's decent intentions.

If you don't feel like going for it switch off your computer and set out in search of your love is the streets of your town - the thing people do without any of the difficulties mentioned above.

Truth about women

20 inspiring thoughts

You've just broken up with your boyfriend. We won't propose you should have fun. But you would not deny that loneliness has its own advantages. Here they are.

1. You could smile at an unknown man without feeling guilty. You are not in for a scene of jealousy.

2. You are free to wear your favorite dress considered too revealing by him and you are not afraid of putting on vivid make-up. You could even realize one of your crazy fantasies, for example, to dye your hair pink.

3. You shouldn't hide while doing something low aesthetic, for example, depilating your legs.

4. You could apply exotic cosmetic masks on your face and walk freely up and down the apartment. Nobody will be scared to stutter.

5. Approaching your bar during a rainy autumn evening you could be sure that you'd find your favorite liquor intact and not half-emptied. If you put something delicious into the fridge you could sleep without worrying not to find it there the next morning.

6. There is no need to fight for the remote-control and to argue that you've been dreaming of watching this film for all your life and it's possible to find another time for looking at strange people running with a ball. Moreover, you could watch female talk-shows and the most stupid serials without suffering from the inferiority complex.

7. You could spend hours on the phone in stupid (according to his opinion) conversations or invite your friends any day of the week and in any number.

8. You could visit old friends, have fun all night, to come back home the next day without any explanation about where you've been, what you've been doing and what took you so long.

9. Nobody would occupy the toilet in an inappropriate moment.

10. You could brush your teeth carefully and nobody would hurry you up with the questions like: "What are you doing there so long?" You could sing in the shower.

11. Nobody would try to peep at the number on the scale during your morning ritual of weighing.

12. Disorder made by you is much more pleasant to clean.

13. You could listen day and night to your favorite singer, and nobody would exclaim: "Oh my God, how could you listen to such music?"

14. You could eventually start sticking to a diet. At seeing nothing but yoghurt, mineral water and cauliflower in the fridge nobody would say: "There is nothing to eat".

15. You lose the sense of guilt that you were often traced by when your life was connected with someone.

16. The list of people who you have to buy presents for reduces by one and the most puzzling point.

17. You could organize your place as you wish not taking into consideration someone else's taste.

18. You have a lot of spare time.

19. You should earn your living, take a taxi, and call a sanitary technician all by yourself.

20. At sunset you are going along the street, passers-by smile to you because they couldn't help smiling to a beautiful woman who is sure of herself. You'll be happy. You'll have nobody but you to thank for these moments of happiness. These moments are only yours.

First date advice

How to present yourself? What to wear? To be or not to be late? There are a lot of questions that worry us before the date. Especially if it is the first time you go out together. Look how modern young people approach it.

Who invites?
If you think a woman-initiator wouldn't be taken seriously, if you are afraid of embarrassing a man, let him make the first step in order to give you an opportunity to frown and to find a couple of hours for a date. But if you not a kind of a shy girl, if you are sure of yourself to make this notorious first step - why not? The chance to receive a refusal is around zero - men appreciate women who are not afraid of taking initiative.

What to wear?
As practice shows in most cases a man is not able to describe woman's clothing in details. The main thing is the overall impression, and if she looked stunning, he would surely remember it. Try to wear something you feel comfortable in. For some it could be high heels and a skirt, for others - jeans and flat shoes. If during the first date you prefer to keep distance you shouldn't wear a short skirt and a low-cut blouse. Try to dress according to the weather. A girl shivering all the time evokes the desire to offer her your jacket, it is rather sweet, but she looks silly. Be sure to wear something that makes you look really special.

Where to go?
You shouldn't view a cafe as the only place to go. Though it is not a bad variant as you could speak calmly and have a good look at your date. But don't forget - the first date is an adventure. The more unexpected it runs, the better. That's why if he proposes to climb the Eiffel Tower or to ride a snow-mobile don't refuse. Unexpectedness is accompanied by success.

What to talk about?
You could choose work as the subject of your conversation. But just imagine if your date is a microbiologist or specialist in ancient civilizations. The possibility to stay interested till the end of the evening is around zero. If he has a sense of humor it is an ideal variant. Laughter brings people closer together and even if you didn't speak much but laughed principally, your date is a success. Playing a spy could be good. When you try to get to know more about him and speak less about yourself, you leave a veil of mystery which always attracts and makes him want to see you again. If you want to have the second date it is important to understand what your partner's interests are, what he likes. The more you know, the less difficulties you will have choosing a place to go and a theme of conversation for the next time.
Good luck! Nobody says that the first date is easy.

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A manual of blind dating.

A blind date. How does it usually happen? Kind people do exist in this world. For example, your friends have decided to arrange your life. The result - this evening you go out for a date. Another variant - you found his number in a dating column of a newspaper. Or maybe you've met on the Internet and have decided to meet after spending three nights online. So, you are in for a date with a man you don't even know. A date without any occasion, in romantic atmosphere. That's is what is called a blind date.

A blind date doesn't give any guarantee. You are not insured from whatever or whoever it may be. Who is he, that Mr. X? Is he a real hero or just someone average?

A blind date could turn out to be an exciting adventure but at the same time you risk finding yourself in an embarrassing, humiliating or offensive situation. A blind date requires a very delicate approach. You are afraid of being disappointed or to disappoint your blind date partner.

A blind date is like a lottery. Or rather like a bag with different stones: they are all the same by touch. But when you start to pull them out you'll see that the first is an ordinary stone, the next one is half-precious. And only if you are lucky enough you could take out, say, a sapphire or a brilliant. You don't know who will make your next choice. But this aspect makes the process especially interesting.

You never know what a blind date, even an unsuccessful one, could lead you to. Nobody tells you that love from first sight is the key-element of the affair. It can happen that two strangers find each other interesting. Then a crazy attempt can develop into friendship.

So if you have decided to go for it:

* remember that it is nothing more than a little experiment, so do not expect too much from it.

* do not try to strike a man by your beauty, do not wear all your best at once. You shouldn't look like you have been preparing for that meeting for three days. Naturalness - that is your main weapon.

* be calm and friendly. Don't show your disillusionment - there is no point to hurt a person who is not to blame for being not in your taste. Moreover, he can also be disappointed. Avoid expressing your unspeakable delight too.

* try to prepare some credible story in case you'd need to give up. Ask one of your friends to phone your mobile approximately an hour after your date has started. If it doesn't really turn out well you could escape on a plausible pretext.

Darkness times ... what to do?

You know that times are tough. Maybe your relationships aren’t working as well as you had hoped they would. Or perhaps one or both of you may have been through a particularly difficult time. Maybe you’re finding it really hard to establish a satisfying relationship. The problem you’re now experiencing may be obvious or this may signify a more subtle underlying unhappiness.

Stop and take stock of what you’ve been going through. Give yourself a cup of tea, a hug and some sympathy. Have you fully acknowledged how tough things have been? Have you talked this through with someone you trust or with your partner? There’s a lot of relief and validation in acknowledgment. Mark this difficult time and then be prepared to move on. The good news is that darkness never lasts. Life pulsates. Life is about rhythm. Just as we breathe in and out and as our heart closes and opens as it beats, so good follows bad and new life follows death. The darkest hour is always just before the dawn.

Breathe a sigh of relief. Know that easier times are ahead. Know that this period of your life will not last forever. Be nice to yourself, be nice your partner, and draw on your reserves to get you through this time.

Remember to look after yourself. Eat well, get lots of sleep and avoid any pressure that can be avoided. Light a candle to remind you that dawn is coming.

There is no guarantee that this relationship will or should survive or that the relationship you are hoping to develop, will develop. You may get what you hope for or you may face an ending. But a new beginning will follow

Remember that this is not a call to action. This is asking you to acknowledge the darkness, rather that denying or resisting it. This will then bring you towards the light.

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WomanSavers.com - World's Largest Database Rating Abusive and Cheating Men. Besides the original idea this web site has many cool features and made pretty positive impression on us. Any women will find something interesting like videos or cool games. There also you can find message board where you can help others or find help for yourself. Medical advice section has a lot of valuable information. Not an easy task to get free psychotherapist advice nowadays online, but you can do it at womansavers.com. And even though the site mission is to help people with such a serous issue, site administration managed to keep site to be not depressing place and stays fun and positive. You also can easily access and test yourself. I personally love that the site has a huge database of related online pools, which help you to locate where your point of view stands in compare to others.

Keep in mind there about 25,000 men’s names.

Philosophy of man's faithlessness and woman’s errors

Once one of my friends, a three times married man in his heyday, has said: "If the women could be men for one day at least in their life, the number of reasons for their husbands’ faithlessness would reduce significantly. Having understood man's nature from inside, they would become completely differently to accept the nature of feelings desires and acts of their beloved ".

Experienced polygamists have demonstrated, that a large part of a problem is hidden in our errors, full ignorance of men's life philosophy and our attempt to treat it with, ladies' point of view. So what should we, women, know that would insure us against man's faithlessness? Let's try to look at a situation through his eyes.

All of them are the same!
"The Man is a polygamous creature" we hear from different sources, attempting to justify uncontrollable male desire to let himself go at the first possibility by a physiological difference of sex. They say, it’s natural instinct, and you can do nothing with it. This is the first and the most global error. Here, certainly, there is a part of the truth. But just a part only. Frankly speaking not all men are identical and not all are guided by an extreme sexual appetite. For faithlessness there are much more serious causes. And in each case they are different. And predilection to a polygamy - only an additional motive, justifiable stroke to a portrait of a betrayer. The representative victim of this popular stereotype has appeared his first wife, a quite intelligent, nice girl. Our hero says that he wasn’t going to be unfaithful. To the contrary, he wanted them to live together long and happily. This lasted for two years until she, having seen enough of serials and having read some kind of nonsense became suddenly intolerably jealous. Their family life has seemed to her suspiciously smooth. And why are you so pleased today? Or Where have you been from nine up to eleven? I rang to you in your office", - she met him at a threshold. Because of his line of work he had to communicate with huge quantity of the women. She considered each second of them to be his lover. She went into hysterics, implored to say the truth. Once she even spied attempting to see in his window a long-legged visitor. All this lasted for almost a half-year, and suddenly the thought came into his head: if in the eyes of the wife he is already malicious betrayer for a long time, so what will change, if he actually will have a small intrigue? - Nothing! How could you?! - she cried, having found out about a fraud. As it became clear, between imaginary and present treason there was nothing common. Her jealousy has been expressed simply as one of the ways of expression of her love. It was necessary to prevent...

P. S. In a rating of the causes for man's faithlessness, jealousy and disbelieving take one of the first places. But trouble is that we differently imagine probable consequences. The women, having received undeserved rebukes, simply suffer; the men estimate such behavior of their wives, as a guide for action. Some kind of a signal authorizing treason. The truth is paradoxical, isn’t it?! Women in a similar situation aim to demonstrate the devotion, men - to confirm the worst suspicions.

According to one man: “I betrayed my wife many times, but if it was discovered by her I would end it at once. I can explain. We, men are unfaithful differently than the women are. The man does it by flesh and the woman by heart. For you to give in to another man is a serious step with reciprocal consequences. For us it is as a rule, a single affair. We just reset superfluous energy and everything is OK again. Therefore female faithlessness destroys a family, and man's consolidates it only".

Sex as the award
The Earned sex is highly appreciated?? - one more error declared everywhere. The “Man by nature is the conqueror"--you may read it in any tutorial on psychology. But anywhere is not written, whether he is ready to devote all his life to a struggle. His small intrigue became his second wife. She was very popular among men. Unlike his first wife she knew her own worth and she managed to show it at every possible moment. You will wash the plates and I will kiss you the further - the more. Step-by-step intimate relations have turned into the award for good behavior. The quality of love depended on the cost of a gift. From each successful barter she received a charge of energy, as the experimental broker from a good bargain. He to the contrary, felt used. So he was tired to earn for pleasures that they, eventually, have ceased to bring him any pleasure.

P. S. It is unpleasant to admit, but very many of us act in a similar way. It may be not expressed in such open way as in this case with his second wife. But the idea is the same. Be a good boy, you will get a candy. This is the next stereotype. Man needs to feel that he is really loved and desired as well as we do. Not because he can give something in exchange, and first of all because love and receive him such, as he is. Otherwise unexpended energy starts to be saved in him.

The Third error states: the more we spend of time together, the stronger family is and there will be fewer reasons for being unfaithful. But in the real life this quite the contrary.

The third wife of our hero created a warm caring atmosphere at home. At first everything was simply wonderful, - he recalls. - the new life has seemed him to be a paradise. She did not work, and they spent the whole day together. He liked her constant attention. She realized all his desires. But the time passed, and that attention became too much. She followed him everywhere: at bathing, repairing a car, even in his company! As in childhood, when the mum sponsored him continually. She would like to know about me all up to the smallest details. He realized it was not the primitive control, the wife simply liked next to him all the time: so she imagined a happy marriage. Suddenly he realized uncontrollably he would like to get any secret. At least small, but at first it was a student, then a waitress, then a secretary... Do you consider him a ladies man now?...

P. S. "It is difficult to give an unequivocal estimation, but there is a simple explanation for this concrete situation: any the man should have his own life space, which would belong to him only and nobody more. Being deprived of the territory of his own desires, he starts to create it anew, and here the effect of a forbidden fruit enters into force. Which is not simply sweet, it has another taste. And especially, when of his beloved woman becomes too much for him she starts to irritate him. It will just stimulate him. "She think she knows everything? Sure! "

We shall not clarify who was luckier, him or his wives. One thing is clear: the unfaithfulness is there where there is no mutual understanding. And to find it is the real art if to take into account an enormous difference in our attitudes to many vital problems. For example, men easily partition sex and love, we don't. Simply we do not see any sense in intimacy without spiritual and emotional desire.

If he has done it once it will not be for the last time. So many women suppose and part with their beloved for ever, having learned about betraying. At the same time this situation may appear annoying coincidence for a man. Alcohol, stress, quarrel... It is more than enough of the factors which are capable to provoke adultery. He may blame himself for the betrayal of his life and he will never do this again.

I have betrayed my wife after ten years of our family life. During all this time she said nobody needed me she lived with me just because she pitied me. Unless my friend has told me she was purposely understated my self-esteem in order I didn't ever try to do this. After it had happened (I have met another woman) I appeared to be a good lover. And not only was she of such opinion. So. Tell me now whose fault is this?

Treason is a family disaster.
Actually it is not always so. Often there is a possibility is that just a treason is a potent shake-up which is capable to revive love, a serious reason to renew boring and deadlocked relations. Marital partners, having gone through adultery, may realize that they did not suspect at all, how much they loved each other. Love and only love is capable to become a guaranty of faithfulness give the right to forgive an affair. Our life is an eternal transformation of our joy, sadness, errors and discoveries, cuts and trials.

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Love and dating

It is recommended for reading by women, and men both.

Dating. The supermen full of love, timid taciturn and eloquent erudite, and also harum-scarum temptresses, honours students and fatal lady-killers, join your hands with each other! Let's unite in desire to transform process of attentions into the real art, tending to please and to surprise your beloved, to give attention and to enjoy mutual feelings!

Let's unite our efforts!

The times change and we change. The man kissing a lady on her hand during dating, looks now ridiculously and archaically. And if you see a guy, who kneeling before a young lady recites verses, loudly and pathetically, you may think that you see a dinosaur alive. Then we should say such phrase as: "If our today's men were... " But we won"t. At least, in this paragraph. Because "motion" in relations should be two-sided, and to be objective we should admit: very much depends on us, women. There is nothing bad in that the times have changed. You should remember that attentions are not only beautiful gestures and exact words. It is a delicate process of feelings' development in common language of love for both of you. And in order to master it perfectly, it is necessary to try to understand the preferences of your darling, to find out everything about her (him). His (her) "like" and ┬лdo not "like". Let's try to place points, interrogative, exclamative and other signs in this delicate and awfully sweet process together.

The female point of view

We do not like...

* Self-confident and self-in love admirers, who never get tired to demonstrate to the woman their own exclusiveness. When we have to listen each date three-hour monologue about exploits and performances of our "hero". The friends would perish without him, the women would be driven mad from pangs of love, and in other words the whole world would be destroyed, if there was no such a clever, courageous and smart guy;

* Those who is sure in one hour after acquaintance, that the time for sex has come. In general, the most widespread error in dating is an absence of the term of attentions. Sometimes it seems to the admirer, that by this harlot proposal he simply makes the woman happy, and he does not doubt, that she will share his passion desire without any hesitations;

* Man's confidence that one fine gesture: "Waiter, a bottle of champagne for that blonde "- obligates to reciprocate.

* Profanity, unctuousness and infinite talks about sex. And also frankly estimating gaze at the first appointment. There is a feeling that you are offered for sale;

* Gentlemen's sets consisting of: a traditional bouquet of roses (similar with the previous one) and box of sweets. At once you are feeling yourself as if you are some official who is gratified. We don't like such gifts of utilitarian function: mops, vacuum cleaners, mixers. Certainly, it is useful, but the elevation of feelings and romanticism of relations is put under doubt;

* Clich├йs and trite compliments like "you have a beautiful hair ". I have ordinary hair, but voice... Do you hear? And what about my eyelashes? It is a subject of my special pride! Maybe, he doesn't really like me. And maybe, he is simply primitive and silly?

* When the admirer esteems the other girls at your presence. And if then he tries to estimate their advantages aloud You have had enough- you may give the possible relations as a bad job.

* Absurd and senseless acts similar to blackmail. You don't even remember exactly his name, and he hangs on handholds of a balcony of the eighth level already and he is ready to jump downwards, demonstrating his mad love;

* When our categorical "no" is persistently taken for may be " or "yes". Of course we are mysterious natures, but thirty three times said "no" is all the same no there is nothing more;

* Attempt to manipulate us on a date or in bad. It is a rather popular method for some representatives of a stronger sex- to loose interest to you suddenly and to court your girlfriend. They say, the less we like the woman... It may be effective with somebody but at the majority of us it produces an irritation.

We like...

* The erudite and when he is a good company knowing how not to speak only, but also to listen. Thus it is important, that the admirer did not simply pretend, but was really interested in conversation. The men do not suspect, that any, even the most skilful demonstrating of feelings is defined by the woman instantaneously;

* Pleasant and tender words said to us and only to us. When our beloved notices, guesses, finds that other do not see, and everything that is said by him sounds sincerely and resembles more confession, than compliments. Moreover, when he says, that you are the best, the cleverest, most beautiful! However, you realize that you are the best for him only but you begin to feel being such person everywhere;

* Extravagant and unexpected gifts, in which are put up not only money, but also a part of ingenuity. They may not have long-term value but leave bright memories only. It is wonderful to hear a serenade under your windows played by the orchestra, ordered for you personally, or to see on a roof in the glow of evening stars your portrait made by a slide-projector;

* Surprises, on which, by the way, the degree of his interest in relations is easily detected. You go on an appointment, but you get on a concert of your favourite singer. How have you managed to do this?! The tickets were sold out two months ago! " It is pleasant to realize, that your darling made preparations, spent his personal time, has exhibited wit, has wanted to win your heart, to touch, to surprise, and ha managed to do this

* Gallantry and courtesy. No matter how trivial it may sound, but it is pleasant to us, when the man offers his hand in the transport, opens a door and let us pass forward, is interested - whether you cold, and not having waited for the answer, offers you a jacket;

* When our beloved make much of us (carry us on hands) in direct sense of a word, not being afraid to show himself in eyes of those around us ridiculous and old-fashioned;

* To feel ourselves sexy, attractive and desired, but we prefer to teach about feelings of our beloved of his the special gaze, intonation, touch smile. When behind innocent, abstracted talk something exciting is hidden this is making you feel a quivering worrying in an anticipation of something greater;

* When our beloved remembers about main (and less significant) events in our relations - anniversary of acquaintance, day of the first kiss, declaration of love - and marks them by special signs of attention. It is incredibly touching to receive as a gift even some pretty-prett╤Г . We know, it has a special sense;

* To hear again and again: "I love you". We want, that he say these words more often, not hesitating to show too much sentimental. But in case we feel the same only.

The man's point of view

We do not like...

* When girl eyes resemble a calculator display, which scans and calculates your "advantages": Boots, watch, mobile - not bad, not bad... And salary? How much - how much? Is it per one month or per day? Per hour?! I love you already! "

* Matching with the rivals. Especially when the score isn't counted in our favour Look, he has such a nice car! He is so clever and he is so funny!... If these guys are so good, then why do you spend your time dating with?

* Sex at the first appointment. You know it, but after it we shall refuse the girl, for certain;

* To be Delphian oracles. Surely, there should be some kind of secret at the woman, but agree, when you invite her regularly for concerts, present roses, treat to a Martini and after a half-year it is clarified, that she does not bear a heavy-metal music, roses considers as trite and banal, and after Martini she has a heartburn, of course it may puzzle you for a long time. Why you were silent, honey? Maybe you were afraid to offend me? You have almost managed to do this.

* When shows are arranged for us. Ostensibly incidentally your girl comes on appointment with the girlfriend, and you begin to feel you are sold by auction. If the judgement of her friends is so important for her, it means, she is far from being assured of her choice, and it is not the best beginning of relations;

* Non-standard lexicon from lips tender juvenile beautiful girl. However, from not juvenile and not so tender it is also unpleasant to hear the words from the dictionary of the drunk shoemaker;

* Constant desire of marriage, which can be exhibited already on the first appointment. It is better to follow an old tradition - we shall acquaint more close, and then I...

* Such questions as:" What are your plans for the future? Whom do you see yourself after five years? And after ten? " As though you are accepted for a job and they want to be assured of prospects of this solution;

* When there is somebody else except of me. The friend? He has called you just to find out how were you doing? Of course. I believe. ╨Юh, it is very unpleasant to feel yourself as a reserve variant.

We like...

* To be the best! The only one. Let it be just now and only in a certain small territory of a cafe, but you are ready to move mountains for this shine in the opened eyes of your girl!

* To feel strong and irreplaceable. To hear the endorsement of this indisputable fact from lips of our girl at least one time per week and being pleased to think: " How she has lived poor little girl without me? ┬╗

* To make surprises. Did not expect, that I come? Are you glad? Are you confused? And who is this guy in the wardrobe? Actually every possible surprises for us is not the only way to exhibit individuality and to flash of imagination, but also the possibility to show to the girl, you are ready to do everything for her;

* To surprise her with extravagant gifts, for example, magnificent supper onboard of the sparkling with lights ship, or trip to the warm sea in the middle of winter.

* To display our erudition, to feel yourself a bit cleverer, more provident, smart and to see endorsement of it in her reaction. It cant be helped, such we are;

* To win the heart of our beloved. Overcoming obstacles to achieve desirable. You see, all of us are date hunters, by the highest standards. You don't pay any attention on me? OK. Let's see, what you will say after this? That is the reason for our mad acts - to climb on the tenth level without the stand by or to swim across the river to its opposite bank for March snowdrops;

* To be a hero in her eyes. Strong, passionate, a bit rude... Well, we forget ourselves in playing sometimes, it may happen to anybody;

* To indulge in her whims and caprices. Reliability and the predictability relaxes us, and unexpected, occasionally discordant desires of our girl cause us to feel almighty. You would like some avocado at three o'clock in the morning? Here you are! Everything, you wish for, darling. And here are some mango, dates and pawpaw. Just in case;

* To know, that you are the first, to whom she addresses for a help in a hard moment. To solve easy her problems at her admiring glance. It will be a pleasure for you. If you are loved, you are lucky. You will manage everything if you feel love.

The supermen full of love, timid taciturn... You remember a beginning of this article? So, if you think a bit, it becomes clear, that all of us - man and women - want the same: that we were understood, appreciated and given those signs of the special attention, without which the real love is impossible. So why not to join dating efforts together?

Why do they leave?

16 answers.

1. Boring sexual life.

I broke up with a nice but too old-fashioned girl because she wasn't ready to experiment in bed. She lived according to strict rules even under the blanket - and there as you know is no rules. She was a type of girl who accepted sex only with no light and wearing a night gown.

A., 22 years old.

2. Disgusting habits.

She smoked, used dirty words and threw her clothes about the room. That annoyed me. I tried everything to make her change: I used to throw her cigarettes away, to hide her clothes in order she doesn't leave it all over the place… After a month's time I was fed up playing a nanny.

A., 27 years old.

3. Her parents.

I felt terrible at her parents' place. They didn't consider me worthy of their daughter. I tried to be nice, I used to bring flowers for her mother, cakes, expensive whiskey for her father. But they scowled me. Time passed nut the atmosphere did not change a little. In addition her father took us unguarded in not an ambiguous position on the sofa. I wonder how he didn't send me down the stairs. I had to retreat.

I., 21 years old.

4. Too tough control.

Once a girl managed to kill all my sympathy for her being too troublesome. I don't bear women who invade my life too actively. She used to phone me constantly, she asked where I was, why I'm not at home yet. She annoyed me even at my work place! I'm a free man finally and I'm not ready to report her my every action. In such a case I'd prefer to be alone.

A., 24 years old.

5. She was too initiative.

I used to have a relationship I didn't consider as a serious one. But I didn't rule out such course of events, maybe we could have had something serious with the time. She was beautiful and good at bed… But she spoiled everything because she always took the initiative. She was 5 years older than me. It was her who spoke me first, fixed our dates… I was flattered for some time but then I was just bored.

A., 23 years old.

6. Too much critics.

I run away from my girlfriend because she turned our life into a real nightmare. She criticized every action of mine from morning till night. According to her words I was a picture of all possible men's vices: untidy, insensible, ungifted type who was with her by some chance.

V., 28 years old.

7. She didn't give a damn for me.

I should be sure in my partner wherever I am. I will never leave a woman who loves and understands me of course if she is not frigid, silly or annoying. I used to date a girl who didn't give me a damn for me. I was as an empty spot by her side. She didn't phone when I was ill, she was annoyed when I spoke about my problems at work. Frankly speaking I regret to have spent half a year of my life on that relationship.

I., 25 years old.

8. She was too stupid.

To understand to what extent your girlfriend is intelligent I should as any normal man to speak to her about five minutes. But once a girl managed to wind me round her little finger about her mental capabilities. I understood she was silly only after a year spent together. My eyes opened when I lost my sexual desire of her.

R., 24 years old.

9. She was too untidy.

I lost my interest for her out of a domestic reason. I like to eat well, to live in a clean apartment and not in a mess! She wasn't gifted in housekeeping. She was afraid of a cooker. It could sound not very romantic but I'm not intended to spend all my life in cafes and restaurants…

J., 25 years old.

10. She was too talkative.

She could talk round-the-clock. I wasn't usually so annoyed in the morning but in the evening I was just exhausted to hear about persons I don't even know. She had attractive appearance that is why we were together for about two months.

11. She was too ambitious.

We had a serious relationship. We lived together for about a year. She wanted to make a family and to have a child. As for me, I wasn't ready yet to take such responsibilities. I was too afraid and left her. Now when I recollect that part of my life I feel stupid. But then I couldn't act otherwise.

V., 24 years old.

12. She was unfaithful to me.

During my holidays I met a girl. Back to my native city we started dating each other. Two months later one friend who was then on holidays with me told me that my girl friend was only half-mine because she dated another two men at the same time. I didn't explain anything to her. I was disgusted. I just didn't come to our next meeting and didn't answer her phone calls.

L., 25 years old.

13. She was too jealous.

My partner had a very difficult character. She was as stubborn as I was. Moreover, she got jealous without any reason. When I usually came back home after a party with my friends she didn't speak to me for three days at a row. Once it overcame my patience and I left her.

K., 27

14. She was too independent.

We've been together for two years but she continued visiting her friends, going to the parties and night clubs… Doing this she always “forgot” to take me with her. She led her own life. We constantly disputed over such a behavior of hers. That is why we broke up.

D., 23

15. She was too fade.

I'm going to say something you probably wouldn't believe in! My girlfriend was cute, kind, sensible and she was much younger than me. My friends were interested in her - she was always timid and not talkative at all. Four months later they lost their interest because she didn't change. She was as timid as earlier. In comparison with my friends' women she was just too fade. She didn't use cosmetics. Nobody knew what to talk about with her, what to do with such type of girl. When I left her she didn't even try to know the reason. No, I think that my girlfriend should be vivid even if I will be jealous.

M., 34 years old.

16. We were too different.

At first, we were not bored because we were too different from each other. But some time later we starter quarreling over the trifles: what type of music to listen to, how to spend our evening, where to go for the holidays… We didn't manage to work out a decision that we liked both. It became very difficult to continue like that.

S., 28 years old.

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Giving or taking

It is easier to give than to receive and if you are doing too much giving and not enough receiving. You need to change this.

When we are willing and open to receiving it is the time when life offers us the gifts that are there for the taking. So often we think that we have no issue with receiving that we want to receive. But in truth we cannot.

To receive we have to be willing to stop giving for a while and to learn to simply receive what is offered. We don’t have to earn it or trade for it. We have to be willing to create a space for another person to be able to come forward and fill it for us. It takes guts. It requires trust and it puts the focus in us, which can often feel uncomfortable. Yet it is a gift to others when we let them give to us.

What are you blocking? What won/t you take? What won/t you ask for? You need to ask yourself why you‘re doing this and what you are scared of. Are you willing to let someone know what is really is that you want? It doesn’t matter how much we receive if it isn’t what we value. Let yourself have what you really want.

Maybe you need to spent time working out what you want to receive from a relationship and life in general. Sometimes the first step is trust that is really is safe for you to be honest about what you want. Do this now and then set about letting people now what this is. Then enjoy receiving it. Remember you deserve it.

Control

It is time to look at the issue of control in your love life. Controlling behavior involves us making an effort to rule and direct how others think and feel as well what they do. Although we have a hundred justifications for why we are being so controlling we actually do it to make ourselves feel safe.

As children we had no control over what happened to us. It things were painful, difficult or frightening we were at the mercy of adults around us. As we grew to be adults, we responded to this by finding ways of controlling ourselves and others. But being in a loving relationship means that we can’t control things in the way that we can when we are alone. It reminds us of our childhood pain and we react to it by desperately trying to control our partners and they us. Pay attention to how you interfere in your partner’s life and they in yours. How they dress , eat or run their lives is none of your business and vice versa. You are only responsible for yourself and for dealing with the way that their behavior and choices affect you . Most important of all, believe that you can feel safe without trying to control everything around you. A sense of safety comes from inside, not outside of yourself .

Now is the time to look at the way you relate to others. Do you bully or sulk to get what you want? Do you get sick. Complain or act helpless without realizing or admitting how manipulative this is? Do you always think that your way is the best or is the only way? These are always of attempting to control.

Accept that you have no power over the others and that you can only control yourself . Step back and let others be who and what they are. Their choices are their own. If they pull away, let them go, even though it may cause you pain. If they treat you badly, you can’t make them change. Real love will only come toy from someone who is with you because they want to be, who treats you well because they want to.

If you are single and looking for love but not succeeding you need to realize that you are in control of this. It’s easy to blame fate or bad luck but in fact you are picking people exactly it won’t work or because they are unavailable. Or, you are rejecting perfectly suitable partners on trumped up reasoning. Doing this keeps you out of relationships, which is simply a way to stay in control. So start to behave towards others with generosity and to respect who they are. It this way you will draw love to you, not through control, but through giving love yourself.

Healing

Take comfort from the fact that whatever you are going through will leave you in a better, stronger place than before.

Healing can be calm and peaceful, or it can be turbulent and intense. Often when healing is taking place things can get worse before they get better. If this is happening see it as a cleansing. You have to clear things out in order to move on. Sometimes we have to keep revisiting a painful experience until we finally get to its core, learn the lesson in it and then, and only then, we are able to leave it behind for good.

When we are in the process of healing around relationships, we often find that our health suffers. Are you having recurrent back problems or a series of minor ailments?

There are the ways in which the body expresses its pain. Use them to draw your attention to your underlying emotional state. What do you need to heal? What do you need to grieve? It is important to support yourself at this time. Avoid extra pressure and go easy on yourself. Lower your expectations and most importantly, stop criticizing yourself.

We find the experiences we need to heal our wounds from the past. You may not want to be dealing with this right now, but life gives us what we need, before it gives us what we want. Know that your relationships can only benefit from this healing.

You may be healing yourself now in this relationship or healing old hurts to bring you on to the right relationship. You may be healing the relationship itself. Be positive and optimistic while acknowledging your pain. Healing can really hurt. But you can handle it. Try to work with this rather than pushing against it. Give it the time it requires. You’re worth it. Remember that if you don’t heal it now. You‘ll only be back in the same place, some time soon.

The only way out is through, and healing is a sign that you are coming through.

Negativity

If you are being negative towards your relationship or the potential for a relationship this is for you. It maybe that you have been disappointed recently, or that something is giving you a lot of difficulty. Negativity feeds on itself and then grows. It is time to turn away from being negative. If you don’t want what you have, then let it go. But don’t continue with this negativity. If you do want to keep your relationship or the possibility of a relationship, then stop being so negative and start being positive.

Focus on what is right. Focus on what you like, on what makes you happy. Focus on your partner’s strength and your own. When we turn from the negative to the positive we have hope and we develop greater appreciation for what we do have. This combination is the first step towards a brighter future.

Being negative is easy. It’s lazy and it’s cowardly. Which isn’t to say that we should ignore things when they are wrong. By all means admit the problem but take a positive approach to it. When we are negative we can simply sit around and complain. To give this up requires effort and so does your future.

This also draws your attention to the negative energy around you. What is dragging you down? Do you need to alter your home or work environment or reconsider those that you have close contact with? You can always improve the energy around you by “clearing” in any way possible. Clear out clutter, reorganize your environment, clean things up, throw open windows, change your habits, freshen anything that seems to need freshening, and don’t lapse into laziness. Fresh energy is waiting for you and is much more rewarding.

Boundaries

A boundary is a limit which is defined at its farthest point. You can reach it but you are not to go beyond it.

We see physical boundaries all around us: the wall that divides our property from our neighbor’s; the no entry sigh on a one way street. The there are the less physical boundaries such as the law that we live by and the promises we make and keep. Because the boundary marks the farthest point, crossing a boundary always has a consequence. We break the law, we get arrested. We break our promises, people stop trusting us. It works in reverse too. When others break our boundaries they get a reaction from us.

We all need boundaries in our love lives. We need to define where we begin and end. We need to set limits and make them known to ourselves and others. We need to be clear about what we find acceptable, what we will live with and what we will not tolerate. And we need to mean it.

You need to stop and look at you boundaries. Have you set yourself a boundary where you will only get involved with someone available? Are you sticking to it? Or are you letting someone treat you badly, putting up with dishonesty, cruelty or just subtle manipulation? Try looking at it from the outside. What would you think if a friend was being treated in this way?

In order for a boundary to be real you must be clear about the consequences of breaking it. If you say you are going to leave, you need to mean it – or you need to face the consequence, which may be to stay in the relationship and be bitter and withdrawn indefinitely. The consequence is what really happens, not what you say will happen. Without a consequence there is no boundary.

Setting boundaries and really sticking to them is challenging. It means getting clear about your bottom line. It means not getting caught up in what others think you should want or accept. You need to treat others with respect but you don’t need to accept what is unacceptable as part of this. Ironically those around us are much more comfortable when we make and keep clear boundaries because then they know where they are with us.

Value yourself and know that you are entitled to your boundaries.

Patience

Patience is an art form. It is the ability to stay in the present. To wait for what you want in a state of acceptance, trust and belief. Accepting that there is a time schedule that you are not in control of, often with no certainty of the outcome. Patience reminds us of our humanity. Just be with everything exactly as it is now. You don’t have to do anything.

Patience has a lot of similarities to trust, except here we are focusing on timing and process, rather than on reassurance about the outcome. How patient are you? How easy do you find it to allow feelings and events to unfold at their own natural pace? How good are you being in the present? For that moment, just focus right now, not the future.

When we force event we can easily damage the end result. A good loaf needs time for dough to rise, a butterfly needs to go through the process of being a caterpillar and chrysalis. Without patience for other people’s timing and process, as well as our own, we push forward towards our goal but we miss the pleasure and benefits of the journey. We don’t allow the foundations to set before we expect them to carry the weight of the building.

Slow down. Accept that things are how they are, each of you is who you are. You are meant to be exactly where you are right now. Whether it’s financially, geographically, emotionally or attitudinally. If you have a goal, then make a plan and act upon it, but ensure that you aloe the appropriate time necessary. If it unfolds at a different pace or things are not where you want them to be – have patience.

Discover and learn the lesson of being in the present. Patience pays.

Unfinished business

It means you need to finish whatever it is that remains unfinished, in order to establish a new relationship or for your current relationship to prosper.

Unfinished business is old business. It may be years old or from yesterday or last week. We didn’t deal with something in a satisfactory manner at the time, often without realizing it. Then we brush it under the carpet, or to the back of our minds, and carry on as if it doesn’t exist. The trouble with this is that then we never will fully move on. Unfinished business takes up our attention and energy in a way that we are not aware of. It interferes with life now, in unseen ways. It’s similar to putting the handset down by the side of the phone instead of breaking the connection properly, freeing the line for new calls.

If we don’t finish something properly it prevents us from starting something else, afresh. It’s like leaving your rubbish to pile up in the kitchen and then stepping around it, pretending it’s not there. The longer you leave it, the better you get at pretending it’s not there but the smellier it becomes. And the more of it that you pile up, the harder it is to move freely around your kitchen. Eventually it contaminates everything without you realizing it.

Unfinished business damages relationships. What haven’t you dealt with? What needs to be said that you are avoiding saying? What old resentments, hurts, wishes or dreams are you sitting on, which you need to pull out, dust off and deal with? In your relationship is there something which you have both brushed under the carpet which actually really matters? Face it and you will both benefit from your bravery.

This also includes unfinished business from previous relationships. Otherwise it will interfere with your current one or with a making of a new one. Who do you need to apologize to? Who are you still mad at? Who are you still in love with, or hate with? What haven’t you really grieved or let go of? Now is the time to deal with it.

You don’t necessarily have to involve the other person for you to finish something off properly. You can do this alone. For example, write a letter including everything you want to say and then when you have finished, burn it ceremonially. Do it again and again until it feels finished. You have to do what it takes and face what needs to faced, because only then will you be free.

Break-up

It signifies endings. It may be that the relationship is literally ending. This can mean divorce or separation. If your relationship is ending, it asks you to trust the process and know that there is light t the end of the tunnel. This is happening for the best, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Accept the pain and it will slowly diminish. You can handle this.

This can also mark a break –through in the relationship where it dies in its current form and is reborn anew. Usually this will involve some form of separation, however temporary. Endings mark the need to move on, to let the relationship to die, whether it is to be reborn in a new form or not. Due to the continual cycles of life and death, some form of rebirth will always follow an ending, so trust this process and go with it. You will find the partner who is right for you, whether it is this person or someone new.

It may be that a break up with a third party is necessary for the success of the relationship. Who are you over-involved with, outside the romantic context? It is time you left home or let go of your best friend or old boyfriend? You need to allow space for you true, primary, romantic relationship to develop. If you are hoping to establish a new relationship, know that there is someone that you need to separate from before you will find your new partner. Let go of any attachment to an old relationship or ex-partner. End your desire or fantasy for a new relationship to develop with someone specific, who you have your eye on. Cut your ties and free yourself, so that life can lead you to the right relationship, rather to the one that you think you want.

One door opens, when another one closes. Now you have to close the door, or accept its closing, and trust that another one will open. It really will. Moving on is a part of life. Be brave.

It is only when we dare to leave that we are free to stay on our own terms or free to find something new.

Spiritual connection

Remember that the spirits around you want to remind you that you are more than just flesh and blood. You have an inner essence which needs attending to.

It asks you to go a little deeper. To develop, renew or strengthen your connection to your role in this world.

We are all intimately connected on a cosmic level. Look up at the sky. Know that the universe and the galaxies stretch far out and around us. Look into a flower or your finger nail and know that this scale works in the other directions too. Within each detail there is greater detail.

We are existing in a chain of awareness and energy. All perfectly held in our place, in our particular existence. Right now everything is exactly as it should be. And then we move on and things change and that is right too. Know that you are protected and that you are no alone. Angels hover constantly around you waiting to help. Yet they must be requested to help us before they can interfere. Those who come before us, who watch over us and guide us, so let the guidance in. Find the best balance between the physical and spiritual world which works foe y.

Often we neglect our connection with a more powerful force than ourselves, as we all try to play God in our own lives. Let your spirituality guide your relationships. Follow your instincts to do what needs to be done, at each moment in time.

Light a candle and look into the flame. The light signifies the energy in each of us and the world around us . Offer up your thanks for anything that you appreciate and invite the spirits into your love life. They are waiting for you call.

Let go

You are presented with one of the biggest challenges in relationships and in life itself. But the reward you reap will be in proportion to the effort expended. It’s simple – let go. What if it wasn’t up to you? What if you couldn’t control others, yourself, the outcome, today, tomorrow, forever?

This isn’t calling for you to be passive or to stop caring. It’s telling you to take a back seat. It’s not telling you to leave the relationship, or to stop trying to establish a new one, but it is telling you to let it be what it really is. Get your nose out of everyone else’s business. Let them look after their own lives and you look after yours. Stop trying to make the world fit wit your desires. Let it be what it is as it is.

Let fate and destiny bring you what they will. Sit down, breathe, take sometime out of time off and let life just happen for once. If you are trying to convince, educate, pressurize or manipulate your partner, or someone new, into giving you what you want, now is the time to stop. If you are pushing the same way – stop. Who would you be if you just let go? Who knows what experiences and opportunities you are missing out on, while being so busy and holding on so tightly, trying to manipulate everything and everyone so intensely.

Watch what happens when you begin to let go. It will all work out exactly as it’s meant to and better than it will with you trying to control it. Have faith that life will support you and bring you what you need. Let the fear that you won’t get what you want surface, and deal with that instead of avoiding it. You’ll never be able to swim to a new shore if you won’t let go of the driftwood you are holding on to so tightly.

Swim, let go, let the tide direct you, let the water of life support your weight. It’s safe to let go. Do it now.

Change of fortune.

It is a profound moment. You can relax and celebrate. This signifies that things are about to improve significantly. If you have been struggling with difficulties then the struggle will soon be over. Good times are ahead. Peace and harmony are close at hand and the break-through that you have been hoping for will present itself.

If life is good and you relationship is good, be happy in the knowledge that it’s going to get even better. Change of fortune marks a significant step forward, so dream your dreams and know that they will soon arrive.

If you are hoping to find a new relationship trust that you will. If things have been difficult, know that it’s going to get much easier. This signifies improvement wherever you are in the romantic scheme of things. It promises you that the future is really bright.

This is a good time to prepare yourself for what lies ahead. What do you put off through wasting time worrying about the future? Feel free to get on with it no. What changes would you make if you knew that you couldn’t lose? Get active. This encourages you to change your own fortune as well as reassuring you that good fortune lies ahead. Take advantage of this moment. Admit what it is that you really want to say or to do. Follow your heart, be brave, be adventurous and know that you are supported. The time is right.

Don’t forget your responsibilities, show respect for others and stay honest. As long as you follow these three rules, the time is right to jump. You are fortunate.

Anger

This brings your attention to the anger present in your relationship or interfering with the establishment of new relationships. This will not surprise you if you are already aware of your anger. But if you are not aware of being angry, this tells you that you are. You need to deal with it. Knowing about it isn’t enough and complaining about it won’t help.

First of all, get clear what it is that you are angry about. Write it out in a piece of paper, talk it through with someone, or do whatever works for you , until you are sire you know what you are really angry about.

It may seem like you are reacting to one thing when actually you are angry about something completely unconnected. Check this out with yourself. We often pick the easy topics to focus our anger on because we feel that we can’t justify our anger over the issue that’s most important to us. Often, focusing on the real issue makes us feel too vulnerable.

Remember all anger is always both justified and valid. Other people don’t have to agree with us but we can get angry over anything. Anger is a feeling. You can’t choose not to have it. It’s either there or it isn’t. If you deny it because you think it’s unacceptable, you are only hiding it, not stopping it. It will go underground and fester and damage a relationship anyway. So admit you are angry and then find a way to express it safely. Write a letter you don’t need to send or shout at a cushion or chair pretending it’s another person. If someone else is involved leave them out of it completely until you have expressed it away from them. Otherwise you will regret it. Only then you will be ready to let it go or to discuss it with them reasonably.

If you are sure you are not angry and think that this must relate to your partner, or potential partner, you are mistaken. They may be angry too, but this is about you.

Acceptance

It is about letting those we have relationships with, or hope to have relationships with, be themselves – accepting who they really are.

It’s a tall order. Mostly when we have relationships we want to change the other person to who we want them to be, regardless of who they really are. Acceptance is asking you to stop this. Trying to change someone we are having a relationship with doesn’t work for you. If you want them to be different, then have the relationship with someone else who is already what you want. If you really want the relationship with this specific person, then you need to accept them as they are. If they wish to change themselves it is their business and their responsibility. You have no power over anyone else. So the sooner you accept who they are and how they are, the better.

What you do have power over is your reaction to who the other person is. You can find it acceptable or unacceptable and you can tell them this. But remember what they do with that information is up to them. You need to accept this too. Stop denying who they are or pretending they are someone they are not.

If you ask someone kindly and specifically to change a particular behavior, they may have the goodwill to do so. Appreciate this and support them. But if they won’t they won’t. Step back and have a good look at who this person really is and accept it. Remember much of what may need to change will actually be you and your behavior. It’s always easier to put the focus on someone else.

We are all perfect, exactly as we are, with all of our faults and endearing qualities. Stop trying to force someone untidy to become untidy, or someone dishonest to be honest, or someone lively to be quiet. Enjoy who they are or move away from them and move on, but stop trying to change them. Then maybe you can begin to accept who you really are too and have the confidence to declare it. Then you can be appreciated by those who accept you for you and let go of those who don’t.

Jealousy

When jealousy is operating it is important to admit to it and learn from it, rather than deny it. Otherwise it will be very damaging to your relationship or desire for a relationship.

If you feel jealous of your partner, check whether they are behaving appropriately. Are they prioritizing their commitment and loyalty to you? Check whether jealousy is actually a warning signal that you are not the priority when you should be. Don’t put up with someone who doesn’t treat you with the respect that you deserve. Or perhaps their behavior is fine and your jealousy stems from your insecurity and low self-esteem. Address these and you will find that your jealousy disappears.

Jealousy operates in many areas of our relationships. You may be jealous of someone else in relation to your partner or you may be jealous of their confidence, success, lifestyle or their relationships with friends, family or work. When we are jealous. We are envious in a negative way, which means that we want something which someone else has. Our refusal to acknowledge that desire creates the bitterness and pain of jealousy. But if we have the courage to be honest about our feelings we can use jealousy in a positive way. What is it that you are jealous of? Does someone else have qualities or elements in their lifestyle or relationship which you wish for? Start working out how to get these things for yourself rather than resenting those who have them already. Use these desires to motivate you, rather than turning your energy against another person. Go after whatever it is that you are jealous of, for yourself. But remember to do it in your own style. You can’t become someone else; you must learn to develop who you are.

Also, look at the price that the other person pays for having what it is you are jealous of. Are you willing to organize yourself or your life in the way which would be necessary for you to have what they have? Is it worth the effort to you? Is it worth the sacrifice? If it isn’t then appreciate them for their choice but admit that in reality you don’t actually want the whole package. Jealousy is an easy way to resent what others have without being willing to take the consequences, good or bad, of having it ourselves. Admit that your choices work for you, unless of course they don’t – in which case make some changes. Work on your self esteem and your self confidence. No one else is lucky enough to be you. Appreciate that.

Pain

If you are hurting right now this is for you. You may be very aware of this or denying it, but you are in pain. Are you suffering from a broken heart having been let down by someone that you love? Or have you recently ended a relationship because it wasn’t right? When things have gone badly the pain doesn’t end when the relationship ends. You need to give yourself the time to grieve. Don’t just rush into something new or you’ll take your pain into the next relationship where it will cause unnecessary damage.

If you are single at the moment your pain may be from loneliness because you long for someone special to share a relationship with. The world may seem full of couples and it can be especially painful being around others who have the companionship that you so wish for.

Being in established relationships can also be very painful. Sometimes it’s hard to accept how much it can hurt. Throughout our lives we are sold the fantasy that love will be a totally wonderful experience. No one tells us the truth. That love involves pain as well as pleasure. It’s all too easy to move on whenever being in a relationship begins to hurt, but if you do this you will always be moving on. Stay committed and deal with the pain. Share with your partner what hurts and together work on learning how to support each other when you are in pain.

What you most need to understand is that this pain that you are ascribing to love or the need for love has little or nothing to do with romance or relationships. It stems from the deeply buried hurts of childhood. You expect love to take you away from your feelings of emptiness or from the ache deep inside you. You are using romance and companionship as a drinker uses alcohol. To avoid your feelings of being left alone with yourself. What is happening in your love life is only happening to bring your childhood pain to awareness so that you can deal with it. And when you do, you will find that you are more successful in love and all aspects of love will be less painful.

Right now you need to accept your pain and welcome it into your life. You may imagine that you can’t bear to do this but avoiding your pain is what really hurts, experiencing it brings a real and lasting sense of relief.

You can handle it. Pain is part of loving. Be brave and remember to be kind to yourself.

The Wish

This is a good luck omen. It means that what you wish for is being given extra support at this time and likelihood is very high that your wish will come to pass.

If you have been waiting for news of some kind, this reassures you that it will be favorable. Your dreams will be realized, so relax and trust that everything will work out.

When wishing we need to be mindful not to try to control someone else or we break the power of the wish. Form your wish in the first person, think in “I” statements to ensure that you wish for yourself. Also leave others out of your wish. For example, if you wish to meet the person of your dreams, don’t name them. Even if you feel sure of who they are. Maybe your perfect partner isn’t known to you but if you are right, it will work out anyway, without you trying to control someone else’s destiny.

You need to be very specific about what you wish for. Close your eyes, still tour mind and actually picture the result of your wish come true. Make it as real as possible. Where are you? What can you see, touch, smell, and hear? When we make our wishes tangible then we help the universal power deliver them to us. We become like a magnet and draw what we envisage to ourselves. The clearer we are the more powerful our magnet. Imagine the wish already well defined, hanging around, waiting to be wanted. The clearer you are, the quicker it will recognize that it is wanted by you and wing its way to you!

When you wish for something be very careful that it is what you really want. It’s easy to focus on the positive elements that it will bring into your life, but you have to be sure that you can live with the whole package. Stop for a moment and ask yourself what the drawbacks of your wish could be? It you are honest, there must be some. Now do you want to moderate your wish to take this into account? Remember the saying “be careful what you wish for you might just get it”. This tells you that you will. So wish with care and with respect for yourself and others and then enjoy!

Love in Internet

Today almost three quarters of American young people communicate only through the Internet, and for many of them the global network becomes a unique consolation in their life, a friend, an adviser and... a way of acquaintance. This theme becomes very fashionable for discussion. It is even somehow indecent to have no virtual favorite. Probably, everybody who is familiar with a world wide web has dealt with it once. Sooner or later everyone has a temptation to get acquainted by this way.

It is even funny. You do not know with whom you deal with and so does your interlocutor. That is it is possible to tell that you a handsome well-off man from petroliferous Texas, being actually... an usual little girl from small Russian town who just knows English well. Probably, this is the essence and high... Besides there can be tens of such partners (and probability of that your virtual friend will finds out the truth is small if you don't give yourself away). So the concept of infidelity gets a virtual shade also.

The Internet affairs, certainly, have definite advantages. For example, you invent the partner yourself. If you want your friend will be the high brunet with blue eyes or a brown-haired person with green. If you want it will be the dazzling blonde with a thin waist or the brunette with amazing shapes... It can be a person you can to talk about intimate themes, or, maybe, a "shoulder" to cry on. You can get rid of complexes of communication you suffer from in a real life. In general, it is of what you dreamed... And not one heart was broken thus because dreams tend to remain might-have-been in a world wide web.

Dreams can remain only dreams forever. And, maybe, it is better to leave them so. Because when you wish to achieve greater and "to ground" the virtual love, here everything is smashed as a rule. In a reality the person (and not its virtual image) differs from the fancy you have invented. The cruel reality is that material problems ruthlessly destroy the invented world. The main thing here is to be in time to return from the virtual world on the ground and to not receive a long-term mental trauma.

The Internet love, by the way, in any sense can be compared to relations by phone. But in the latter case it is possible to track intonation of the interlocutor by his voice. Eventually a sex is definite.

The Internet love develops the same as an usual real one: footsie, the flirting, the first frankness, the admission of the interlocutor and the partner into the private world, attachment... It is a real boon for shy people. "I love you" are the words which are difficult to be pronounced in a real life often. The "ground" has own laws, traditions, the settled values, and here, in the Internet, you invent own world, the rules, the game: we live as we want to; we do what we want to. It is the world of our dreams and imaginations.

So, let's pass directly to the moment of virtual "meeting" of two persons of an opposite sex. First there is a choice of the partner. The conversation begins with standard phrases as a rule. Then the chat becomes friendlier. And here already you desire to look at the interlocutor eyes. Bytes of information travel in a world web turning in nice physiognomies on the monitor. This is the most crucial moment. Will they please each other?

It is necessary to notice that Internet relations develop much more quickly than in reality. Time is real money here. That's why even Shakespearian tragedies are played here. Connection is suddenly torn and one of you suffers, waits for, worry (has he (she) deserted me?). And others... Ask the God for help. A real paradox? I have seen it many times. It is a strange look: pray to the God in front of a computer...

And here "lovers" are again "together". It acts like a drug. The idea that today you "will not see" your half drives mad. The situation is even worse when you precisely know that it is impossible to meet your passion in a real life (she {he} lives in other city or the country). Then you start to forget about all around including study, friends, more shortly, all real life, and you begin to live only at the moment of a virtual meeting. The person near you can be your significant other but you will not notice this because you are too keen on the image.

By the way, how can such relations develop in general? The photo is only a flat picture... In a reality it acquires a flesh and blood, bad habits and bad character.

But there are also cases when people acquainted in such a way marry. But, probably, nobody counted this rate of lucky persons. If it is possible so to say it is a love not at first sight but at first byte. As a rule they are people of similar trades and similar sights, and their work is connected to computers. And a world wide web coincides with real everyday lives for them. So their love affairs naturally flow in reality.

So dare, try, take a great interest! Youth is given to us to make experiments and take a pleasure of a life. Even if these are pleasures of the virtual world...

Does a true love really exist?

The true love overcomes everything. Each of us trusts this myth at heart. We believe that problems, disagreements and circumstances will never frighten us if we really love each other.

Thinking so we often try to avoid the decision of problems. “If we love each other conflicts and distinction of character mean nothing” we tend o say. If spouses possess absolutely different temperaments, adhere to different style of a life than their harmonious coexistence is practically impossible. They love each other, but their relations are doomed to a failure. Certainly, the love is a good base for the happy union but if you want your union being developed and becoming stronger only love will be not enough.

The bitter truth is that very often relations interrupt not because of insufficient love, but because the partners simply they does not suit each other. The true love is recognized at the first meeting. Secretly we trust in love at first sight. We think that the true love arises at that exact moment when eyes meet for the first time. And then we understand without hesitation that we have met that unique person with whom we will live all our life. A mistake is that we give too much value to the beautiful beginning and we avoid a serious estimation of the subsequent relations. The first bright impression generates romantic imagination which prevents us from a reality for a long time. And we are playing for time because we doubt in the feelings. We are reminding ourselves about the first magic days.

One more mistake is that we miss the chance for the true long love. It is possible to feel passion at the first meeting, but the true love needs time. The true love happens only once. We consider that there is only one favorite person in the world with whom we would be happy. We peer into each potential partner; we try to discover features which will confirm that he or she is that. A mistake: as a result of comparing the partner with an ideal image we can not appreciate the partner at his (her) true value. The ideal partner will suit us in every respect. Many of us enter the love union subconsciously expecting from the partner that he (she) will suit us in every respect and when it does not occur there come disappointment and insult. But actually we do not know what we exactly want and are not capable to explain to the partner how to make us happy. We can spoil good relations because the partner does not satisfy our needs which should be actually satisfied with ourselves.
The truth is that the partner suitable to us will satisfy many our requirements, but not all of them. Tremendous sex is a true sign of a real love. Sometimes we fall in love, convince ourselves that we are burnt with love, but after intimate affinity we find out that it wasn't a love at all, just a physical inclination. The culture where we have grown forbids us to confess that we get a pleasure from own sexuality. The society, education and morals do not allow us to show the full sexuality. Therefore we are inclined to shroud the most ordinary physical desire with a romantic aura. Physical attachment can become a basis for the high-grade love union if you are compatible not only in bed.

Love? Love...

This feeling always catches us unawares interfering with our day-to-day life, tangling our plans, ideas and feelings. The love is similar to illness it strikes our heart, body and head. It transforms us absolutely, and we are already unpredictable in our actions. So what is the love, and why do we need it?

The love is a strange gift which plunges us into a condition when we not only lose mind but also are capable to fly up to inconceivable heights and then to fall down to sufferings and even cruelty. We test all scale of human feelings: from torments to loss of speech when we see beloved face.

Nobody can distinctly explain the meaning of this word. Tachycardia, faltering breath, a shiver , the damp palms, flashed cheeks, wandering smile … The feeling of euphoria and all-consuming delusion which has captured you is so strong what it is simply impossible to put it into words. It some kind of illness, it has the same symptoms. But the nature which presented us this madness of love provided healing as well. This storm lasts from a month to 1-2 years. In a word, the love either transforms into the steady, warm feeling, or leads to painful break.

But do we need it if it makes us suffer? Is it for keeping human race on? But it is possible without love. All this is true. But, falling in love, each person hopes for the best and is assured that nothing bad will happen to him and he will avoid unfortunate love experiences, and his love will be eternal and will bring one pleasure and satisfaction.

In an antiquity people tried to understand the nature of love experiences (why this feeling brings pleasure and happiness to one people, but disappointment and sorrow to and another?) and came to a conclusion that the love can be quite different. Though we also name it by the same word - love, but feelings are different: passion, an inclination, admiration, respect, etc.
Probably, there were such minutes in your life when you recollected with a smile how madly and passionately you fell in love at school, and it seemed to you that it was for all life. And so ridiculously it will be to recollect the present love in 20 years. And all this occurs because the love can be divided into several types: it both love-drama, and love-obsession, both sexual passion, and love-respect.

Basically, each woman can test all this various scale of feelings by own experience, but certainly not all versions at once, just stage by stage. For example, the teenage love concerns to a category of love-drama since it's characterized with the blind belief and adoration of the chosen object. And it's because the first love is not a love to the concrete person, it is more likely love to yourself.

As a rule such love is unhappy and you become even more sick realizing this fact. It is your first experience and if it brings disappointment you can be unsettled for a long time, lose belief in people (as so: you loved, as it seemed to you, and you were left). The only way to go through this love without serious consequences is to accept all how it goes. Certainly, here a skilled friend (for example, mum) can help you much in this situation.

Other category of love - a love-passion - comes to us hardly later - at 18-22. It usually comes to desire to possess the partner entirely and completely. This love is necessary more for self-affirmation than for pleasure. At this age they often say: “He has a white Mercedes and the house abroad”, that is the financial position of the person is appreciated first of all (certainly, there is nothing bad in such approach - to fall in love with the well-to-do person), but a mistake is that at this age they seldom listen to the feelings but simply search for the concrete person. Ask yourself what you feel to this person: love or he is just a man who possesses those material benefits which arrange you?

If this fine feeling visited you at 25-29 years it is another version of love to yourself, but based on more impartial self-estimation. At this age mistrusting men externally the woman still believe in sacred and pure love. But she starts to notice also herself and not the men only. Consider that in this case the man suffers because you think as first of all you about yourself, your life and feeling instead of the person you love.

After 30, on the contrary, there is a sensation of dislike to yourself. It seems to the woman that nobody will love her any more and that she lost an opportunity. Uncertainty and doubts arise even if a man appears: if he have not married yet at this age something is wrong with him, his health or character. And if he is divorced it means that he is very dubious guy since the wife has not got on with him. Even if it seems to you that you love him these important arguments overcome nevertheless.

The true love comes when you are 40 years old. There is no need to prove it since woman understands: there is no love if proofs are required. You love not for appearance, money or force - in general, not for something, and you simply love. You get a great pleasure of that you can see, feel that person whom you really love and who loves you. The new stage in your life begins. Complexes disturb much less, there is no panic fear to stay alone.

As we see the love is many-sided. And nobody can tell to you precisely when and with whom you will fall in love. But it will surely come, don't doubt.

Love, please do not die!

Psychologists claim that the love has biorhythms - it arises, grows, and then becomes sick and wither. The "peak" moments of cooling feelings drop out for the first year of a family life, on the third, the seventh and the fourteenth ones...

The first year: the adjusting of characters

In the first year the number of dissolved marriages reaches 30 percent. The cooling of feelings is connected with the phenomenon which in psychology refers to as "removal of masks" - when romantic and idealized image of beloved person misses with the real one.

Sexual life

In half a year of coexistence either equal stable feeling comes instead of amorousness or... you understand with horror that your darling is far from an ideal. Unpleasant disclosure can be made that your spouse is not as sexual as it seemed to be before and prefers a healthy dream to rough sex. You acquire a complex and ask each time after a night of love whether it was it as well as earlier.

Everyday life

Alas! You will not get to anywhere from dirty plates, washings and general cleanings, material problems. Daily occurrence and the ordinary weaken an ability to perceive each other with former excitement.

Tastes

It seemed to you that before wedding your tastes ideally coincided. Eventually you discover that both of you were trying to fit each other.

Habits

Both of you make a "terrible disclosure": he smokes in a room! She forgets to switch off a gas!

Psychologists recommend:

Be realistic. Love and passion are not the means to solve everyday problems. They only support your union, and the life tests it for durability.

Monotony and sameness are the ominous satellites of family life, you will not hide of them anywhere. Enter a small variety into your life. Arrange a romantic supper in a bedroom, or walk "through places of love glory".

The third year: test of feelings

If there was a kid in family it can become not only a big pleasure but also the catalyst of quarrels. The wife is shipped in a life, preoccupied with care of the child and is infinitely lonely. The husband suffers from deficiency of attention from the wife and feels superfluous. Passion, love, brightness of feelings fade before eyes. The river of family life flows under the ground, and its stream becomes measured.

Sexual life

Spouses have already studied physiological features of each other perfectly and do not ask themselves whether they act correctly. But with the appearance of a child the wife is "too tired" frequently. Young husband is full of forces and unsatisfied.

Everyday life

Disputes about who should carry the trash out or cook a dinner are already in the past. But from time to time it seems to each of spouses that a set of responsibilities is wider than it should be. Periodically rebellions occur.

Tastes

You are already capable to watch hated football together with the husband. The spouse, suffering and grumbling, go to the theatre with you. However, you irritates when the husband expresses his opinion on performance, and he is enraged with your comments of a match.

Habits

At the given stage of a joint life you start to look at them "through fingers".

Psychologists recommend:

Slightly displace stresses in a scale of family values; the rough passion is successfully compensated with sincere comfort which you have got for these years.

Do not withdraw into yourself. Give each other a pleasure of kind words. Remember that preservation of love is impossible without a material reinforcement even if it is a small gift made for no reason.

The seventh year: reassessment

Spouses are still young but skilled. They become consolidated with their professions, have already achieved something in career. But it seems that the true life passes by and a "significant other" is guilty that so many pleasures haven't been tried.

Cares of the child fade into the background, and now the wife would like to test all pleasure of matrimony, sexual relations. Her self-estimation raises, she feels that is still capable to please men. Feelings to own spouse grow cold because of lack of his attention to her.

Sexual life

Sex becomes something similar to sports - the same diligent clearness of movements and emotions. You know that IT is useful for health as the morning exercises and try to be if not so passionate like at your youth times but disciplined then. Rough sexual fancies overwhelm both of you. And if you are still frank with each other they need to be realized. But it happens that all suggestions to change something in love behavior are too suspicious: may be you have tried this with somebody else.

Everyday life

It is a weight on your updated sexuality. Right now it bothers you with a new force. If earlier the husband indulgently spread bread with butter knowing what you can't wake up to make a breakfast at seven o'clock on penalty of death then now he constantly holds up a wife of a friend as an example.

Tastes

You furiously mock each other repeating at any opportunity: "My mum was right!" You unconsciously go on the conflict, and a taste of the spouse is the fine occasion to carp.

Habits

They Can become the weighty reason for divorce. They will allow formulating an ordinary phrase "we do not agree in tastes (characters)".

Psychologists recommend:

Do not hurry up to make a conclusion that the life has cracked. The best way out from family deadlocks is to try to keep love.

Control your words, acts and emotions. Do not go on the conflict. Direct the energy to any work outside. Build relation on mutual trust. The groundless jealousy and suspiciousness conduct to the further cooling of relations. Do not hurry to open family secrets and insults the outsiders.

The fourteenth year: the best friends

Feelings of spouses become stable, the love resembles friendship. The crisis peak of the overestimated self-appraisal of a woman passed - now there comes the period of self-affirmation for a man. At this stage the wife values the husband more than he does. One more reason of the cooling of feelings is a sensation of "the middle of a life ". It is one of the heaviest periods in marriage.

Sexual life

Men begin to gaze at other women and girls with great interest. Any temporary passion can be recognized as the beginning of a new love.

Everyday life

It is adjusted and stable, capable to keep spouses in a bosom of family since they would not like to start everything from nothing.

Tastes and habits

Spouses simply don't pay attention to these trifles that were reasons for disputes and quarrels some time ago. Though each of partners can find out with surprise that he (she) repeats habits of another with accuracy.

Psychologists recommend:

Answer one wise question: would I like to age near to this person? If you would then reject all doubts and cavils.

Look at your satellite with a new sight: he is not "a provider" but your the beloved, she is not "a housemaid" but the desired woman. Do not hesitate to show the feelings and emotions, support them with acts. Together you have learned the most valuable thing that is to love!

The more he loves the more he hurts

The more he loves the more he hurts. Familiar phrase, isn't it? And, maybe, we simply like to deceive ourselves believing that love is impossible without sufferings? We tried to understand from where the aspiration to unrequited relations appears, and to classify «household masochists».

Adventurers

The constant emotional shake-up is simply necessary for such people. Here in this category are philanderers for whom the main thing in relations is the process of gaining of the woman, and the more the object of caring rejects him and teases him the more pleasure such man gets. As soon as the purpose is reached he looses an interest. However, such a model can operate in family relations also. The philanderer, most likely, marries the woman who does not love him and will exhaust him during all their life.
Women of such type can't stand quiet and careful husbands; they need scandals with breaking plates, infidelity of the husband and sorting out relationship with subsequent rough sex.
People of this type cannot construct the relations based on equality and mutual respect. They have got used either to dominate or to obey. The philanderer and female adventurer can be an ideal pair.

Cowards

Such people are silly scared with failures and changes in a life and search for someone who could take the responsibility, usually choosing authoritative person as a significant other. But then it is possible to gossip with girl-friends about that "all men are swines", "this fellow spoiled my life" and "if this were somebody else, not him I would..." I recollect a case with my neighbor whose husband drinks, sometimes beat her and treat her as a maid. Once she came to me with the next shiner under an eye and, complaining of the ruined youth, asked for advice about how to control the home tyrant, taking into account that in fact she depends on him completely. "File for divorce and find a decent work", I answered. She has never asked me for advices any more and keeps on going with bruises. For such people to bear mockeries is easier than to make something independently.
This type of household masochists often meets among men. For certain you know many examples of pairs where the wife acts in a role of imperious housekeeper, and the husband is an offended child. In the man's companies a favorite theme of discussion for such husbands is "All women are stinkers" or "And mine… " Why do they not desert the shitty wives? And who then will feed them, fasten a tie, talk to the chief about promotion and to plan expenses?

Heroines

Perhaps, it’s a merely a female type though there are exceptions also (re-read Dostoevsky, for example). The wife of the alcoholic who constantly "struggles" for him, guides to doctors, but keeps a bottle in store just in case. "How can I leave him, he will die without me", she explains to friends, but actually she needs to sacrifice herself for the sake of other whether it is a husband or a child. It gives her the importance in her eyes. And if he suddenly stops to drink, such "heroine" will switch attention to somebody else, for example, will start to pick up homeless cats everywhere on pleasure to neighbors.

What do all these household masochists have in common?

Strangely enough, but both "cowards", and "adventurers" have one common feature - a diffidence. Yes, it is so. One of them are afraid of taking the responsibility for their life, others are afraid of close and confidential relations. As Freud would tell, all this is a result of children's complexes and the model of social behavior incorporated in a family. Really, it's rather difficult to find harmonious and happy family nowadays, so children is growing with the distorted representations about relations between a man and a woman.
But if you wish to be happy and to receive a pleasure from a life, it is a high time to define the problems and to find forces in yourself to overcome them. In fact if the third husband beats you, the matter is not in the husband, but in you.

Boyfriend - How to find one

If you have been trying to find a boyfriend for a long time and your attempts have failed the idea comes: may be your destiny is to stay alone? Meanwhile, it not so, and the first unsuccessful meetings are not necessarily to be the last meetings in general. You should just prepare for each of them in advance.

First of all do not pin too many hopes about forthcoming meeting with boyfriend do not say that if nothing turns out this time you will stop searches. Besides do not search for the friend in those social groups where you come rarely: such attempts, as a rule, do not give result and exhaust sincere forces. It is better not to concentrate on one candidature, to expand a circle of acquaintances as much as possible and to make a new appointment once a week. And it is necessary to interrupt campaign on search of the friend from time to time to estimate a situation, to take breath and, so to say, to sum up. Probably you will decide that it is better to call again to that guy with whom you got acquainted three weeks ago. Remember: all the ways of acquaintances are welcome - through the mutual friends, by means of announcements in newspapers, by correspondence through the Internet, on the parties. Do not reject any opportunity to get acquainted with the new person.
There are cafes and pubs where those who searches for the partner gather, the system of an exchange with phone numbers operates there and it works often enough. There are many Internet sites which will allow you to get acquainted with potential candidates, not spending a lot of time and forces for it. It can be made directly on a workplace if there is a computer at your order. Some sites permit to glance before you become their constant visitor and bring a small payment for using the information.

If you make an appointment than take care of that it is held in a crowded place, never invite new friends at home. Don't be ashamed showing wariness. Ask a new friend to show you the identification card: it is absolutely not out of place to make sure that your potential friend is free not only in display of his feelings, but also according to the law. To soften the request and not to offend the person you can be the first to show him the identification card. It will help you to demonstrate your intentions and to clear his purposes.

Many women were convinced from own experience that the system of short meetings in cafe or a pub (which last no more than 10 minutes) works well. You can meet with 8 - 9 "candidates" within one evening.

The main advantage of such method is that each meeting lasts not for long and does not demand a lot of forces from the woman.

Is better to regard this marathon with the moderate doze of humor, but it is not necessary to consider in advance that these meetings will not result in something interesting.

If a man sitting opposite to you mismatches to your expectations completely it is necessary to give him a chance. Psychologists advise to meet the person not less than three, and even five times before to draw a final conclusion about him.

boyfriend definition

Another matter is when partners wish to issue relations but cannot make it for the objective reasons.

The positive moment that the civil marriage is a quite good means for certain to check up the feelings, to try on a role of the wife, to feel a sexual life. But do you really need it?! In fact our mothers and grandmothers did without a similar sort of approbation of relations. We are of different generation. What to do?The problem of uneven-age relations and marriages is world-old and is still of current importance. What to do if you are about forty, and he is only thirty-years-old? You have a whale of time but whether your relationship are so cloudless actually, and whether there is no something what you should make clear? Or o the contrary: he is far about forty and you are twenty five or thirty. Nowadays various situations are possible. This small article will help you to look at your relations in a new fashion, to reflect on them or simply to gather something new and interesting for yourself. So, if you are older. Let's imagine that a difference in the age is of more than ten years (if it is less it should not be considered at all). It is obvious that you are more skilled partner: you know more and can more. It is necessary for you to use the experience in the good purposes and, that is most important, not to impose your world view to younger partner. It is good if there are any common interests. And if there are not? It doesn't matter, the main thing that both of you have a mutual responsibility, love and respect. If your partner leads more active life (work, business, meetings with friends) you also should not immure yourself and come out more often. When did you phone you old friends (not in sense of age)? To play a role of the housewife constantly is a little tiresome and thankless, besides there is a danger of that you can become simply uninteresting to him through the certain period of time.Other situation is possible: you are a getter, an active woman making a career and having set of interests besides family and children. Blame the young spouse that he is ostensibly unable to earn enough and support you in no circumstances. Clear division of roles is necessary for happy family relations and if this division suits both of you nothing will threaten to your family happiness. It is also necessary to understand what each of you wants to get from your relations and what priorities (family, sex, a material prosperity) you have. And the most important thing is that you should become sure that your purposes and priorities do not enter into irreconcilable contradictions with the interests of your spouse (for example, if both of you desire self-fulfilling in business try that the family and mutual relations has not suffered from it). If you are noticeably older than your spouse psychological compatibility with each other is very important also. Obviously you will experience difficulties if both of you have rigid character, and you are adjusted to subordinate other people to yourselves.If your spouse is older than you more than ten years it is rather typical situation. The main danger here is that you can have different priorities and life purposes. In the given situation it's important to understand what each of you wants from your relations, and if your interests coincide or do not contradict each other you may expect your marriage be long and successful. Do not allow the husband to order about you as being older - you are also an individual and both he should respect your rights and interests.In general, age is not the greatest problem in marriage and relations. Age is a relative concept. There are people who feel 40-year-old being 25-year-old and on the contrary. The most important thing that you should love respect in spite of ages and then your relations will be long, fruitful and joyful. I wish all of you not to pay attention to age and to live in love with each other and with yourself!

Negotiation

Maybe it is time to look at the importance of negotiation in your love life. Negotiation is about finding an agreement which is equally acceptable to all parties concerned. Perhaps you feel that your wants and your needs don't matter compared to those of other people. Or perhaps your feel that you should always come first and get what you want. Yet to succeed in love you need to recognize that you and your partner or your potential partner both matter equally.

Negotiation is vital to living with and loving another person. You can only negotiate if you believe that you are each entitled to a solution which satisfies both of you. Are you are going without or settling for what you don't want, rather than sticking up for your right to be consulted and respected? Do you always get exactly what you want because your partner doesn't stand up for his or her rights? If things go all your way or all theirs, then he relationship is out of balance and in the long run no one can be truly happy. Failing to negotiate leads to bitterness and resentment. If you are stubbornly refuse to negotiate when you could do it without disrespecting yourself, you need to realize you may win but your relationship may loose. You need to have good will in order to create a loving partnership.

Are you finding it hard to negotiate right now? Do you feel that you will be giving in, that you will be giving away all your power? Check that the subject is one on which negotiation is appropriate. Some things are not negotiable. If your relationship is monogamous it's not going to work if your partner wants to negotiate about seeing someone else too. You need to get clear about what is up for negotiation and what isn't.

Everyone's wishes, hopes and needs matter. Accept this and you will be able to negotiate with generosity towards others and without compromising yourself. Negotiation is about reaching a position of agreement that you can both accept with goodwill. In negotiating we face our responsibilities to others and their right to be heard as well as our own.

Negotiation is an exciting, challenging skill which enriches and balances our lives.

Stereotypes and vacation romance

Maybe every girl, going to the summer trip, in her soul hopes on an interesting acquaintance. On something like love-stories describe. For some such sea adventures are their horses. But don’t be under the dominion o stereotypes - sea love affair is something different than novel.


Stereotype: “Such Feelings Live Forever”.

As a matter of fact Sea love affair lives as long as your holiday. And all exclusions prove the rules. A break is felt very keenly every time even if your relations lasted for years. And imagine that film is suddenly broken and on a very interesting place…

but on the other hand There is such theory: A definite quantity of positive emotions is given for any relations. And you should decide for how long they could be prolonged. With your husband you can enjoy this happiness by drop for years and even hold some for a pension. But sea love affair is the real waterfall of feelings and emotions. Instead of annual carnations on the 8th of March - daily armfuls of flowers, instead of smacking kisses on duty every morning - continually declarations of love. You have an opportunity to spend your “limit” within a week!


Stereotype: “He’s the man I’ve been waiting for the whole life!”.

As a matter of fact Have you seen during your life so many celebrities and millionaires as on every square meter of a beach? Say it’s true that you don’t have time at all to know your boyfriend better - what is his profession, where and with whom he lives. Banker can be courier, and pianist playing on tour around the world - organizer of popular cultural activities from the local theater.

but on the other hand Yes, you don’t know him! And what? But you have a great chance to spend a week with a banker even if a clerk for this had to rob his bank. And “world glory” doesn’t belittle the degree of wit of an organizer of popular cultural activities. And what is the most important, you won’t have any time for disclosure.


Stereotype: “He understands me as no one else!”.

As a matter of fact He doesn’t know what wonderful pizza you can cook, how many deeds hang on your wall and what wonderful effect your blond hair produce with the mink coat. And besides he is not acquainted with your great mom, didn’t walk in your favorite park and… In the whole he doesn’t know anything about you.

but on the other hand And besides he doesn’t know that an autumn coat makes you a little bit fat, fried eggs are always burned slightly, and blond hair has to be renewed monthly. Use this lack of knowledge. Nothing and nobody can prevent you from being the girl you want to be - fatal temptress, bad girl or prosperous business lady. Use more inspiration! This is a game and, besides, very amusing. It allows you to weaken and sharpen different kinds of flirt. And it can be useful for you when you really meet your man.


Stereotype: “Nobody has loved me so yet!”.

As a matter of fact Usual man can’t say so many declarations, present so many flowers and make so much madness. At least all 365 days a year.

but on the other hand You don’t need 365 - only ten are enough. Those days when he says that he can’t live without you, that you’re the only one and will stay in his heart forever. You feel being designed and beloved, and it’s missing during those 365 days. You remember that you are beautiful, that you like to smile and dance and that unlike autumn coat swimsuit makes you very slim. Positive emotions are useful for the health, it’s a good medicine from city depression.


Stereotype: “I can part with him without tears”.

As a matter of fact It’s not excluded that you are a part of those 90% of women who treat to sea love affairs too seriously. And you’ll be crying because he doesn’t call you once again. Maybe agonizing thoughts about continuing of relationships, about the fact that happiness could live will come into your mind.

but on the other hand The most wonderful fact in sea love affairs is that fairy-tale doesn’t have an end. And if you don’t make a castle of quotations and illusions, there will be neither bitter disappointments, nor broken hearts. Yes, it will come to an end. But you’ll smile remembering how wonderful it has been.

Size question

Thighs are index in the question of definition of dress size. I.e. with one and the same height and bust thighs’ volume can be different. Some time ago there was zero plumpness (it’s when the bust volume is bigger than the thighs’ volume). 30 years ago such figures didn’t exist. Many people, because of their lack of knowledge, call this figure male one but it’s unfair. Such female parameters can be very sexual and womanhood. Another extreme is a figure with wide sighs and small bust. Thanks to Jennifer Lopez such forms became a fashion and now are not inferior to “narrow” models.

Borat guide to dating

If you looking for american woman with one year plow experience.

Celebrity update. Lindsay Lohan

There numerous rumors that Lohan dating Bruce Willis.

Celebrity update. Jessica Simpson

From now on we decided to keep up some posts about celebrities

So here the first update about Jesica Simpson split with Nick Lachey.

There some crazy news. This comes really fast from one place to another. it says that good news travels fast but apparently bad news travel faster. We remember Jesica and Nick Christmas stories and reality TV show during new years eve, and their wedding. It was so sweet Lachey and was example of the couple who are not crazy, and normal. However nothing lasts forever and there rumors in the internet that lachey and going to divorce.

Relationship type: An old man and a girl

As far as I can notice there is a lot of couples consisting of a man of 40-45 and a young girl of 20-25. The main point of such a union for girl is that he is more interesting than most of the boys of her age, he is rather wealthy and successful; he has his place in this life. She can feel very comfortable and protected with him. But what about a man? Psychologists consider that for a man at the age of 40-50 love affairs with young girls is like the medicine against headache. But any medicine
can stop pain just for a while. Very often he tries to hide from the fear of the coming old age. He can't confess himself that he is not a young man any more. If during the first period of the relationships he sees you several times a week later he can't afford himself such speed. And he starts avoiding often contacts with a girl. To feel himself young again he needs another affair and everything will repeat from the very beginning. To get rid of such kind of relationships it's better to
imagine the situation in 15 years. A girl is young, energetic and beautiful
and he is+

I'm so jealous

Walking with my boyfriend I meet a lot of wonderful, good-looking girls. I understand that they are much prettier than I am. How can he stay with me seeing such abundance of charming girls dreaming of dating with him? I think it's not only my problem but the problem of the most of the girls. How can we get over this jealousy? Psychologists say that the appearance of a rival (real or just made up/0 is much more important for a girl than for a man. Of course men notice long legs, slim hips or accurate nose, but they prefer to stay with those who can give them the
feeling of peace and self-assurance. It's better not to talk about the advantages of other women not to poison your lives. Because if you doubt in him what for you need him?

MEN ARE DYING AS BIOLOGICAL SPECIES???

In some 125 thousand years all the women will be lesbians.

Professor of the Oxford University Brian Sikys has recently shocked the world of science with sensational conclusions. To his mind in our future life there will be only women on our planet. And strong sex will disappear as a biological type.

His sensational conclusions have been confirmed with the results of his detailed study of chromosomes. He’s found that chromosome Y – that is the visiting-card of male individual – is slowly being destroyed, mutated and in recent centuries cannot do its function and define embryo male sex. Final death of the male chromosome will be, according to Sikys, in 125 thousand years. But the scientist calls optimistically on the weak sex for not to be panic and look at one another clearly. Besides it can’t be excluded that in the future the scientists will find a method, which will help women to become pregnant from each other without the male services.

“Women’s dignity. Does it exist?”

There is an eternal question: how to behave oneself worthy and not damage one’s self-respect?

Situation 1 "Should you call him first?”

You are looking at your watch for already an hour. You know that he promised to pick you up at 7 o’clock. You are ready already waiting for him to come or at least to call. You consider it would look humiliating for you to call him first. You do not want t thrust yourself upon him. You understand that he might has met his old friend and has forgotten about your date? But some time later you begin to picture some horrible criminal scenes or accidents in your mind...

He called at half past 8 at last. He was trying to explain his being late. He told you he had been so busy with his financial report that he could hardly remember his own name. He was begging for your pardon. Now you realize that you are so tired of such an expectation that your voice is trembling and tears are coming to your eyes. On the other hand you have saved your “damned self-respect”

Compromise:

Just call yourself to find out if it is all right about your date. Otherwise you will be free for your own business or plans for today (tonight)



Situation 2 “Should I pay for myself?”

Everybody likes to get presents and sweets of course. And you are not an exception. But you earn enough to pay for yourself. And you don’t need any dependence.
And evrytime you refuse any idea to go to a restaurant or a cafe after you discover you have forgotten you money. That may spoil any date. And the next time you try to pay for yourself in a taxi or somewhere else in spite of your boyfriend insists on his financial capability to do it by himself. Those things may cause a quarrel between you both.

Compromise:

Just make an agreement beforehand that you share your expenses fifty-fifty or however you like. In case he insists on payment by himself you may agree. Anyway, it will not damage your self-respect or budget.


Situation 3 “How long should you make him wait for intimate relations?”

It is your second date. You like him very much and he likes you. But when he tries to touch you or to kiss you close yourself being afraid that he may think of you like of some kind of frivolous person.

You know that you must act like a wild animal which is to be tamed step by step for a long period of time.

Suddenly he disappears of your life and you just don’t know why. Some time later you discover that he thought you were just cold to him, that you didn’t like him at all or something at in him.

Compromise:

If you feel “It is!!!” so why should you act like someone had told you to? Just do what you feel you want to do. There are no rules or stereotypes in love. I t is in your heart, your soul, your mind. You are not an actor to play a part then leave the stage. It’s your life, your love your fate.


Situation 4 “Should he share his problems with me?”

Your relations have substantially changed since your Honeymoon. You torture yourself with unquestioned questions trying to guess what is wrong with him, or with you. You start to suspect him to have someone else. But still you are too proud to humiliate yourself with questioning. You are waiting for undisputable evidence. Finally you may just separate whereas the real reason for his bad mood was just his favorite football team failure.

Compromise.

It’s a hard task to make a man to open his heart. They just don’t like to do it. Then just try to play a practical joke on him. Ask him if his tea is over salted because of you and beg him pardon. Then just try to find out what is the matter with him. Don’t be afraid to be frank with each other if you are not? Then why are you together?


Situation 5 “Should I forgive him?”

It has happened so suddenly. He’s just left. You don’t know the reason. But soon he comes back as if nothing had happened wishing to live with you again. He doesn’t ask you if you had had hard times. Then you just fling him out. Your “self-respect” is badly damaged! After that you stay and regret. Now you wish in your heart he was here with you again. You are filled with contradictory feelings.

Compromise.

Just decide to yourself if you are ready to play his games.

Otherwise you must find out real reasons of his inadequate behavior. Try to put yourself at his place and imagine what his reaction will be? You should consider that every person has a right for a mistake.

Your ex-boyfriend. To be continued…?

Ex-boyfriend A remedy or a dope?

It happens unnoticeably. At first, you dream timidly about how once absolutely by accident you'll meet him and he'll understand that he has made an awful mistake, his feelings revive and everything goes as before. No, everything is better than before. You share these fantasies with your friends and later start to catch their looks and hear persistent advices to forget him and to find someone better. You are irritated by their advices and that is a symptom that the remedy is turned to a dope. There are more reasons that your dreams about continuing your romance became a dangerous game.

You are not just dreaming about your meting but you try to organize it by all means. Even if you meet once your ex-partner and he convinced you he was not going to continue with you, you don't lose hope.

You constantly ask your common friends how he is doing. You try to meet them more often for this purpose.
When you got to know he had a new partner you consider her as your rival. You are ready to fight her.
You don't say: “We've broken up” but: “We don't see each other as often as before” or “We have a difficult period in our relations”.


Back to the future.

It is not an easy thing to turn from the past to the future. Especially if you were happy in the past and you have no certainty in the future. Probably, you should once more - the last time - to look back at your past in order to understand why you don't want to leave it.

You idealize your ex-partner. You think you'll never meet someone better than he. Try to look at him from a critical point of view. Remember all his drawbacks and feeblenesses. Very often we are focused on a few positive traits of our partner and idealize his mental abilities, sense of humor, appearance or self-confidence. Try to find a man in your entourage who possesses the same qualities. Try to convince yourself that there is no person who is irreplaceable. Even if you don't think so.

You underestimate yourself. In your heart of hearts you doubt you could attract a man. It is easier for you to imagine that these feelings are demonstrated by a man who loved you before. It is time to remember everyone who was not indifferent to you. Try to flirt with someone even if you don't feel anything for him - just to make sure you a man could find you attractive.

You take all your mistakes too close to your heart. Maybe the main reason why you'd like to continue is that you'd like to improve all your mistakes. You find thousands of reasons of his coolness. You think you could do without them. You think you could turn into another woman with the same man. If he doesn't love you for you it is not your fault. Why not to consider a version that you are not created for each other. And even if you made mistakes try to avoid them in future. Look at your ex-relations as at a good lesson.

You want to gain revenge. You couldn't believe that you were abandoned. An attempt to get your man back for to abandon him (on your initiative this time) is a very common phenomenon. The only thing to advice in this case is to moderate your pride.

And still a continuation is not a myth. Sometimes it happens that there is another meeting by accident and the new splash of interest for each other and a chance to be together again.

The second part of the relationship has its own rules. The events are going faster: you don't have to get to know each other better, to doubt your choice or to slow down the course of events.
Here are some scenarios for a sequel of your romance.

A nostalgia romance. It is like a walk along the places you like. There is a chance to revive all the best moments of your relation leaving out all the negative moments. In brief, it is too good to last long. This paradise seems to be artificial and there is no much space in it. Finally, one of the partners gets bored. And boredom, as you know, is the best remedy from nostalgia.

A romance out of compromise. This type of scenario is for those who broke up because of a conflict. If you partner didn't want children, for example, that when you will reconcile you will make a compromise. Try to escape situation reminding of that dispute. But such a behavior could lead to more violent conflicts.
Pragmatic romance. A lack of intimate life, a desire to revenge to a new partner, difficulties in life could bring back together even those who broke up as enemies. But only for a while. The new relation will continue till one of the partners will resolve his/her problems. The other one will fell like a reserve battlefield. However, being agreed to this continuation he was probably in the negative period of life or stocked forces for a new love affair.
Demonstrative romance. This scenario is usually imposed by the entourage. The victims of such type of the scenario are those who were considered as an ideal couple. You friends try by all means to reconcile you. It's not a pure demonstration, it is mixed with nostalgia, or a compromise. So, there are more negative points and the new break up is closer.


A new break up - a new strike.

After the second separation with the same man you are a woman disappointed twice. But it proves once more that you cannot repeat the happy moments of your life. If the second break up happens the only thing you could do is to feel yourself absolutely free because:

during your second romance he was as boring as before
he lost the keys from your apartment again
during the time you were separated he didn't learn to offer flowers and to make compliments
during your conversations he repeated the same old stories
he did something that you are fed up with for a long time - add to this list yourself
In brief, he hasn't used his second chance. Take a long breath and offer this chance to another one.

Here is useful family website

45 signs of love

1. When everything goes right: at work, in relations with your parents, friends and even with the traffic police.

2. When you understand that you're ready to give him everything you have in this very moment without any hesitation.

3. When you are sitting silent in front of him not because you have nothing to say but because there is no need for words.

4. And when words are needed you understand each other with a half of a word.

5. When you could touch upon any subject in your conversations, when you tell him everything you couldn't share with someone else.

6. When you go to bed at 3 a.m. putting off your conversation till morning but continue to whisper for an hour more.

7. When sleeping together is better than alone (even on condition of a large and comfortable bed).

8. When you sleep holding your hands.

9. When you hand acquires his handwriting.

10. When you adopt all his gestures and intonations.

11. When you think in the same way.

12. When you try to memorize the things that could be interesting to him.

13. When the thought: “And what if this will last forever?” makes you happy.

14. When you think: “Now we are a family” and when you know he thinks the same.

15. When you couldn't manage to keep a diet (and don't even want to do it).

16. When you don't even examine the opportunity to go somewhere without him.

17. When you don't hesitate to phone him in any time of the day or of the night when he is not with you.

18. When you phone him and his line is occupied because he is phoning you at the same moment.

19. When he phones you in a minute after he's left home.

20. When you are so much in love with him that the color of your eyes is changing when you are looking at him.

21. When he is not by your side you sleep in his shirt and with a mobile in your hand.

22. When you plan your weekends together.

23. When there are more and more photos where you are together.

24. When you don't think: “Oh my God, what am I doing here?” because you fell in your place and fell him being in his place as well.

36. When you wish to go on holiday together.

37. When you want to arrange your place in a way he likes it.

38. When you offer your shoulder for him to cry.

39. When you could be weak and not to be afraid of it.



40. When you catch yourself on doing something you have never thought of being capable to do before.

41. When you male friends don't phone you or if they phone you refuse to see them.

42. When to the question: “Do you see yourself with someone else?” you answer: “No, I don't”.

43. When you don't distinguish “today”, “yesterday” and “tomorrow”.

44. When you say to your friends: “Now we are together and you have to take him into consideration because our lives have changed” and he says to his friends: “Now we are together and you have to take her into consideration”.

45. When you know that you are not single any more.

Top 10 things you'd better not to do at his place.

1. Don't forget your stuff such as mascara, rouge, lipstick, liners, razor, contact lenses container, etc on his bath shelf. Do you really want him to know all your secrets?

2. Don't try to find his porno video collection. Of course you could do it if you want. But are you sure you really want to see what he is amusing with?

3. Don't wash your underwear to dry it on the radiator.

4. Don't try to clean his apartment. Of course you are welcome to throw out an empty beer bottle but vacuuming or cleaning the windows is out of question.

5. Don't criticize or approve the interior of his apartment if he doesn't ask your opinion. But even in this case you'd better not to let him know you'd like to change something.

6. Don't take a pile of something in the corner for a pile of rubbish. What if he is trying to invent a perpetuum mobile?

7. Don't sleep wearing his boxers and old T-shirt worn through. You'd be much more attractive naked, don't you think so? But if you are cold…

8. Don't hope to watch a film if he has invited you to watch a film. Maybe he has a range of videos but it is not for watching a movie that he has invited you.

9. Don't hope to find something to eat in his fridge. The most fresh food item would probably be a tube of mustard expired two years ago.

10. Don't claim your rights to the last bottle of beer.

If you want to leave.

1. Try to go into the problem.

Too hard to bear and too pity to throw! Yes, you feel unhappy. But when you imagine yourself free you don't feel any relief. Where will you go? What will you say as a farewell? How will you live without him? Maybe you do still love him? Maybe he is not the worst person and you will not meet anyone better? There is only one answer to all of your questions - you are depressed, you are afraid and forceless. Collect yourself and start a new life.

2. Be quite before a storm.

Will it work out if you are firm to leave? Try not to provoke scenes. Escape quarreling. Be calm and don't forget to smile. It'd be better if you will stay in his memory as a quite person and not a helpless one crying over her fate. And then he is sure to regret he has let you go.

3. Don't slam the door.

How to say your last “good-bye” - that is the question that tortures you. It'd better not to say it at all. Unfortunately, effective noisy leaving are such only in films. In practice the consequences of your dramatic debut could be very sad. You will feel absolutely exhausted you won't have force to leave him at all… And you will surely ask him to forgive you.

4. Don't limit yourself with any deadline.

Don't fix any limits. Ideas like “I will leave immediately even if I have no place to go” should be rejected. It is useless to promise yourself “I won't be here in another three days”. You'd better not to fix a concrete date but to wait an appropriate moment or even to invent it.

5. Create a legend.

In order not to aggravate the situation you'd better not to tell your “future ex” that you're leaving him soon. Try to find any other reason of your removal. For example your grandmother has problems with her heart and she asks you to care about her for a couple of months. Or your friend who is going on holidays asks you to look after her two dogs.

6. Use your imagination.

Even if now you understand that you are not happy by his side as soon as you leave you will feel even more unhappy. That is why you'd better not to admit even to yourself that you are leaving forever. Imagine that you are leaving him for some time and then you'll see. In any case your grandmother does really need you and you are fond of dogs.

7. Use the moment.

But if you don't have a grandmother you will have to leave secretly. That is when he is not at home. Probably he is leaving in a business trip or he is going to visit his parents. Be ready. At least, take a day off and try to do it all while he is working.

8. Don't leave without fighting for what is yours.

You'd better to take everything belonging to you at once. Does it seem to be difficult to take all your bags, plates you bought and your washing machine? Not at all! Two strong loaders and a lorry - that is a solution to your problem!

9. Ask your friends to tell you the truth.

Ask your friends to tell you what they think of him. Do they consider you to be a perfect couple? You will be surprised at what you are going to hear. Why haven't they told it earlier? In fact they respected your choice, nothing more.

10. General mobilization.

As soon as you are free, phone to all your male friends who were once interested in you. Tell them that you have changed you mobile phone number and you are always glad to hear from them. Even if it would turn out they are already married don't worry they will find an hour or two to see you.

11. Don't think of relaxation.

You should to go into your work minimum for a half a year. Try to stay long hours in the office or spend time with your friends. Whether there events are small or grand, funny or boring - you are not alone. When you are home you have force only to take a shower and to fall asleep. In this case you will not have time to remember you past and to ask yourself if you have made a right choice or not.

12. Keep a distance.

The only rule of this soft plan is not to see your ex. Even if he constantly phones you. As soon as you want to phone him try to remember all offences he made you and don't try to justify them.

If you are working together and you meet him every day limit yourself to a simple “Hello”. Don't ask him how he is going hoping to hear “I'm lost without you”. Probably, it is not the case.

13. Use a pause.

In some time you start seeing another men, you will start using “we” instead of “I”. And now you have some month of spare time. Offer it to yourself and to those who really love you. Start going to a class of Latina dances or going to the swimming pool, go on holidays with your mother. You should be ready to meet your future.

14. Try to take a season into consideration.

The best time of the year to leave is spring and summer! Because winter frosts and autumn rains make you embrace him. While in spring you will wear a short skirt in order to make all men notice you.

15. Leave when you leave.

You could come back of course. If you follow our plan you have such an opportunity. But only if you haven't said something like “I should never ever come here in my life” as a farewell. But be careful and remember maybe you'll have to start the plan from the very first point.

Relationship Security

Relationship of the celebrities may became unsecure too. Recently Kevin Federline, try to avoid any competition. He simply told Britney not to use any male dancers.

Learn about your date by knowing thing he collects.

You've just met and you don't know anything about him except that he is tall, blue-eyed and handsome. Or, on the contrary - short, dark-skinned but not very bad as well. You are talking over a cup of coffee and he says something about his collection. Stop. Don't miss it and get interested in what he collects. Because if you know what a person collects you are lucky to get to know his inner world (behavior, social status, complexes, income, etc.)

Let's try to define his character, perspectives of your relationship as well as positive and negative points of his hobby. So if he collects:

1. Ritual masks from Congo, crystal spheres, amulets, pendulums.

His character: he is paranormal, he has non-standard vision of life, he is inclined to mystifications and explains his acts by influence of evil spirits. He is a bit crazy and is fond of traveling.

Perspectives of your relationship: if you have any idea about what a seance of card-reading means, if the first thing you are looking for in any magazine is a horoscope page, such individual is just in your taste.There is only one question: would you like to live in a jurt with Tibetan jingles hanging from the ceiling? Aren't sure yet?

Negative points: candles and incenses day and night.

Positive points: you will stop measuring life with a ruler and weighting the world with a Roman balance.

2. Postage stamps.

His character: he is “domestic”, he loves comfort. But he is too pedantical.

Perspectives of your relationship: in general, he is absolutely normal nice man. You could easily win his heart by attaching a magnifying glass for stamps examination onto you bunch of keys.

Negative points: you have to know what such terms as perforation, denticle, coupling, bloc, par, surprint means.

Positive points: all his “treasures” don't need much space.

3. Currencies.

His character: a well-balanced person with a philosophical turn of mind. He is absolutely calm when he hears something like “denomination” or “inflation.” Any ordinary thing means nothing to him. Money for him is not a means of getting rich but an art.

Perspectives of your relationship: in spite of his average social status he is very generous and doesn't make a cult of money. He is sure that money can change people radically, that is why he prefers to spend it as soon as he gets it. Attention, the rule doesn't concern his collection, of course.

Negative points: Money from his collection is not money in full sense of that word. You couldn't spend it to your caprices.

Positive points: After a month spent with him you will be able to distinguish cruzeiro from escudo, escudo from peso and you will get to know that there are many different kinds of a dollar - Malaysian, Liberian, Canadian, etc.

4. Stuffed animals and live rodents.

His character: he is affectionate and sentimental.

Perspectives of your relationship: You'll spend your time in zoological shops and animal reserves. He will call you “my little hamster”. In the evening you will feed his guinea-pigs.

Negative points: glassy eyes of stuffed horned owls and eagles in every corner.

Positive points: he loves nature and you as a part of it.

5. Stickers with naked women, old pocket calendars, empty cigarette packages and beer tins.

His character: plain and imbecile.

Perspectives of your relationship: it is remotely plausible that you could be inspired by his noncomformism. But if he would attract you try to change a little his hobby to your favor. Propose to collect empty perfume bottles or dress-hangers. The most difficult part of the work - “emptying” is yours.

Negative points: with a closer look it could turn out he is not a collector but a simple greedy person.

Positive points: In any case you can get rid of all that trash simply by throwing it out. Your partner will not be disappointed - within a week he would restore his collection in its full range.

6. Old telephone sets, irons, ink-pots.

His character: sentimental, stylish and crazy to a certain degree.

Perspectives of your relationship: together with him you will recollect old good times.

Negative points: the necessity to visit curiosity shops. His apartment resembles a museum store.

Positive points: with such a man you will not be ashamed to go on public. He will show you that life is wonderful.

7. Modern jazz disks.

His character: advanced, impulsive, natural and absolutely unpredictable.

Perspectives of your relationship: if you don't like such type of music - keep the distance because you have to choose - either you love him and his music or…there is no place for you in his life.

Negative points: you have to ask someone to explain you who Ricky Martin, Julio Iglesias and Modern Talking are.

Positive points: to make him yours all you need is to show your knowledge of his sphere of interests.

8. Cars - not small but full-sized ones.

His character: he is boy playing cars. It doesn't matter that his toys are big and expensive. He likes playing and if he has an opportunity to play, why not to do it?

Perspectives of your relationship: you are in Jaguar, you are in Rolls-Royce, you are in Lincoln…

Negative points: if a car suits you it doesn't matter that another one will suit you as well. He is playing so he has a lot of toys.

Positive points: away with overcrowded public transport!

Our advise on how to see if man in love

he smiles when sees you
he caresses your cat or waters your plants
he buys a CD with your favorite group even if he has never heard about it before
he phones you after you've just said goodbye to say you good-night
he always holds you hand on a visit
he refuses to go to his friend's wedding if you are not invited
he asks the name of your perfume
he phones you from abroad and you are speaking for hours about nothing
he plays tennis with you notwithstanding the fact this is the first time you do it
you don't feel you bore him
you don't feel you are bored with him!...

10 advise tips on how to see if he is in love with you

Is he really crazy in love with you or you just create illusions for yourself?

Here is advise on 10 essentials signs according to which you could be sure you make him lose his mind.

1. He phones you without any pretext.

He tells you something like: “I don't even know why I call you… I've just wanted to hear your voice”. It's considered that men don't like speaking on the phone. Nonsense! If he really wants to speak to you he will do it. He could be nervous but if he really likes you he wouldn't transmit anything by your mother or speak to an answering machine.

By the way, if he leaves you a message on Tuesday when he knows you are at work you'd better to doubt his feelings - such an action is more typical of a sanitary technician.

2. He tells his friends about you.

He doesn't do it in order to boast of you but to make his company take you into consideration. When he worships you he often repeats your name in the conversation. It is absolutely natural no matter whether he does it to the point or pointlessly. This proves that he is proud of you.

3. He is nice to your friends.

Even to those you don't like much. It is good when he treats them with respect and keeps a distance. He is driven by two principles concerning your friends: to give you pleasure and to be with you wherever you go. So he couldn't be angry at your desire to visit your friends together.

It is good if he doesn't forget their names the next day and even sympathizes with their problems. But if he is interested in one of your friend's cat it is a reason to worry.

4. Listens to you with comprehension and sympathy.

While you are talking he doesn't turn around to look at a nice lady passing-by and looks aside only to collect his thoughts. If a man rubs his eyes or yawns - it is a bad sign but if he lowers his gaze - he is absolutely in love with you.

5. Doesn't arrive more than 10 minutes late…

If something detains him he would phone you and tell it. But if he loves you he would overcome all the difficulties.

A man in love will always arrive at time wherever you would be. He will not explain you in detail what took him so long.

…but doesn't arrive an hour earlier!

If he arrives an hour earlier he is not sure of himself, he is a looser. It seems like he is going not to a date but to a business meeting. To hurry a girl in this way is very impolite.

6. Doesn't laugh at your passion for something.

He would never spend his weekend doing shopping and looking for the next porcelain cat for your collection. But he does it because he wants to be with you

7. Doesn't tell you about his ex-girlfriends.

His phrase that he lived with a woman who had the same breed of dog as you have is absolutely normal - he doesn't compare you to her.

It is another matter if he explains you why they broke up. Such confessions don't reflect your spiritual closeness because at that moment it is not you but she who is on his mind.

8. Fixes a date.

If he really likes you he should know when he sees you again. He shouldn't mumble something like: “Let's go somewhere this Saturday, I'll phone you…”Even if he is nervous and don't know whether he is free or not this Saturday he should be able to find words to make the situation look clear. For example: “I have a lot of work this Saturday but after 20 p.m. I'm at home. I will borrow a video. Let's watch it together”.

9. After having sex he wants to speak. He doesn't turn his back to you and pretends to be asleep - he is interested if he pleased you, what you think about sex and what you are doing tomorrow.

His behavior after sex could reveal his attitude towards you - if he is not in love with you he has nothing to say and he doesn't wish you to stay for the night.

10. He says you straight into the face: “I'm crazy about you”.

Or something of that type, if there no any, then we advise to take a break from him for a while.

WOMEN see the FUTURE FATHERS of the children at first sight

How many stereotypes psychologists and physiologists have broken, trying to prove each other, that the process of a choice by a woman of a future father for her children depends on his external or personal qualities: kindness, decency, care, etc. the qualities necessary, from the point of view of ladies, to any respectable daddy.

But physiologists, eventually, have won. It was found out, that rogue knows another. More precisely, the woman sees any man through, penetrating with the inquisitive look all his cherished secrets which are reflected, first of all, on the face of the one being tested.

At present two components are known to the science, women influencing love to the future fathers of family: a level testosterone and love to children. All this is displayed to this or that degree on the face of a man who will luckily or not luckily receive the « access to a body ».

A type of a man with the highest level of testosterone is macho, but to twist love jacks with them is not advised - he, as a rule, will satisfy his desires and leave you. Long relations need the second component - love for children what is peculiar, first of all, is peculiar to men with a low level of the most man's hormone in the world. During his experiments Dr. Diego Mestripieri, an Italian researcher, has found out, that by nature any woman is allocated by the ability to determine looking at the man face, whether it is he who will be the father of her children or not. And the priority is with those men who love children, and not with those who prefer just sex with as many females as possible.

How Mestripieri has obtained such facts? Very simply: a group of experienced men with measured in advance testosterone level was shown photos of adult people and small kids. They should have answered a simple question - who is more pleasant in their opinion.

Then a group of women was shown a photo of men group and was asked to choose those they will be able to love till the end of their lives. And what? Women preferred those men who liked the pictures of children.

What is interesting, as many women admitted, the macho attracts them more, but kids are sacred.

All beforesaid has given Mestripieri the basis for two conclusions.
First, women don't choose those men they need for creation of a family. What they do it for? - a question to women, not to scientists.

Second, the weapon of mass destruction is in the men hands - to cease to take children as something unpleasant, and to love them from all their man soul for a woman can read it on their face. To a woman it is difficult to make the choice unlike to a man who thinks only about pleasure when making children, no matter whether a woman loves a man or not.

You're female and not yet seventeen.
The first question: Who and when to make love with? Why do the girls
start making love?
1 Curiosity
Somebody has already experienced it. And when you ask them how it was
they answer with the light in the eyes Wow! That was awesome! So you,
as any other normal person want to experience the emotions considered
to be the best in the life. You and just you take a decision when and
who to have sex with. Are you ready for it or not? Do you want to have
sex with your boyfriend who you love or is it just the kind of
experience"?
2 You're afraid that your boyfriend would break with you
And it occurred to you that if you start making sex with him everything
will be O'K. May be it will. But not for long. If a dude dates you just
to make out, it means that he doesn't love you. It's all the same for
him what you do feel. Taking into account my experience it's really
awesome if you share the feelings. The boy really cares of you. It's
important for him to make you happy!
3 Everybody does and I want"
I can understand that point of view. Everybody does and you don't want
to be worse. But the reality is that you are a unique creature. There
is not a person like you in the world. You're not everybody". If so,
why behave like everybody", who doesn't consider himself to be an
individual. It's not so wise. I think the best way to check that you've made
a right decision: Imagine that you're sixty. Are you ashamed of it? If
so - don't do that. If you're not ashamed - it's the right action.
4 I love him and want to make love with him"
As for me it's the most preferable way. Many adult think that if you're
13 or even 17 you can't fall in love, a true love. But I definitely
don't think so. True love is not the matter of age it's the matter of your
soul. And nobody else but YOU can identify is it love or just an
amorousness. You'll never have to think that somebody else knows your
emotions, your feelings better than you do! The perfect way is that your
boyfriend feels the same to you. He loves you, adores you, and considers you
to be gorges.
Having analyzed all four reasons the most preferable for me is the last
one. But every girl makes her own choice who and when to make love
with.
Appreciate your life and it will appreciate you!

Ten top tips when a woman wants to make sex, but doesn't know of it
I'm not in the mood! Not now! Just let me relax!
You're not along in this field. There are a lot of male complaints
concerning this situation. Lucky you are course you're reading that article
and we'll share the secret with you. So ten situations when a female
won't say No".

1 After a conflict
Thought thrives on conflict - as the ancient philosopher Socrates ones
said. But on conflict thrives not only a thought. The conception
peacemaking sex" is not a myth, but a fruitful reality. Such kind of sex
does exist and there is a special charm. Just imagine: A heated debate
has risen between you, both your and her blood is up, your hearts are
hammering in your throats+ And when the conflict draws to the head you
have nothing to do but use the moment. Start keeping the position of a
peacemaker.
Take the situation over your control, and take the girl. Warm sultry
kisses, rash undressing, fold her in your arms; you'll feel the splash of
positive emotions. So, change the energy generated in the debates and
the squall of hormones into a perfect sex.
Sex peacemaker is the best of all peacemakers.


2 By a fluke
Any emotional raise: deep anger or endless happiness can also move your
girlfriend or wife to the proper conditions. She has successfully
passed the exam, step up at work, and has found an old toy. Any merry event
that courses emotions you can turn to be the starting point to make sex
will suit you!
Enjoy it, I mean sex!

3 Stresses
Though stress can not be considered as positive emotion, it can also
raise her sexual attraction. If your girlfriend is constantly fatigue,
looked exhausted- it's time to propose to her there a perfect way out -
Kamasutra- style relaxation. By the way, that suits a lot in the case of
headache caused by the stress. Suggest your secret working out to cure
the migraine, a good erotic always relieve even the sickest headaches.
Convince her that she definitely has to use just that method to cure
you for any kinds of diseases.
Let's relieve the stress!

4 Jealousy
I don't take into consideration jealousy as a psychological matter, or
if you were caught while knocking off with anybody else. In such a
situation it's better for you to slip away for a while. I mean little
discomfort of your girlfriend which is caused, for example, by other female
flirting with you, making, advances to you the whole evening. And every
other situation when the girl appears to be jealousy. Having seen that
you were the most popular male with her female friends she surely would
like to get the brass ring which is meant to be hers. The sex. Being
passionate and masterful she will do her best to remind you the most
important reason why you date her and none of her female friends. But don't
go too far trying to cause jealousy, you can really hurt your feelings
and even bring to the crisis in relations.
Have a sense of proportion!

5 The 14th" day or something like that
It's shocking truth! The woman desires to make it" the best days to
make kids, ovulation moment. Attention, if two weeks from the beginning
of that period" passed, more likely it is the very time to remind her
of increasing the human kind and start acting.
Increase the human kind!

6 The party goes on!
By no means I justify brazing your girlfriend, and in the long run the
chance making the most of it. But there is a very small list which can
affect the girl's mood as much as a drag and a little bit of alcohol.
Order her favorite cocktail, dance with her favorite music (supposed
that you know or got to know her favorites), you'll see that her
uneasiness will slowly (or even quickly) melt and you have a chance to
undertake a forced march" to gain your aim.
Good spirits, good music will always do!

7 XXX films
The majority of female doesn't like to see porno movies. Never the less
they adore love scenes with Bred Pit or Antonio Banderas staring. And
that will be enough for her to change her sex doctrine for the nearest
hour, and would like to practice the newlyseen elements of movie erotic.
Offer her to watch one of the films to she likes best and then force
the topic with some high quality erotic product of American movie
industry. And you will not be able to forget that night and the content of the
movie.
Cinematograph is the most important of all arts!

8 Distance love
Distance shows us if we really love a person or that love is just a
fake.
You or she had to go to the business trip or something like that. It's
not negative, it's positive situation. Relations at a distance have a
great possibility to be a remarkable experience of your sexual life.
It's out of question that being far away of each other and calling up each
other may be twice a week is nor an easy task. But by the time you meet
your passion and wish will max out and desire will be at the top of the
scale. Splash your emotions let it be the fountain of your feelings
turning into awesome sex.
So lets learn to wait and hope for good transport means.

9 Continence
The longer a female suffers (can't imagine another suitable verb)
without sex, the hotter and passionate will be when bunking up. In a nut
shell, if your girlfriend wasn't dating for some time there is a
possibility that she was looking for a right dude to release the infatuation
burning in her body. That dude could be you, do your best and be ready.
Continence is not so bad sometimes!

10 Creative power
If your girlfriend is a creative person and she likes to imagine
something new making it a reality: drawing, cooking, singing or any other
activity. All that circumstance can be the reason to make a perfect sex.
Next time when she is preparing some masterpiece of cookery art appear
all of a sudden in the kitchen+ and make a wonderful erotic overture
before the appetizing dinner.



Creative power is inexhaustible!

Approved to be used

As far as you got, the reality is that female want making sex more
often, than you thought before. Now you know how to perceive the moment and
use it the right way.
Next time when she is stressed after an intensive working day, instead
of telling her that you were also working hard and never the less you
want her, bring a glass of wine waiting for her to appear from the
shower, turn on her favorite CD and suggest a meditation tour to Tibet
without leaving the apartment.
Enjoy the erotic nirvana!

First date mistakes

Annoying situation: after the first date ended in bed he disappears without calling you back. If it is the first case in your dating practice, you might have come across a Don Juan who loses all interest in a woman after she gives in. Then do not blame yourself. But if men disappear one by one after the first romantic date, you should think over what you are doing wrong. When he asks you for a date, to accept the invitation is right. Smile and say “OK”. Do not pepper him with questions like “Where are we going”? And” What will we be doing”? Or he might understand it as your doubting him. Let him choose. And then he will feel the master of the situation. As for you, you will understand a lot about him, seeing where he prefers to go on a date. During the date do not chat non stop, try to listen and to say “yes”. Besides, men hate women who are constantly giggling, they take it as laughing at their account. Remember, that to demonstrate their strong sides to the females is in the males' nature: birds show off their feathers, mammals fight with each other. Play into your partner's hand: ask questions and listen to the answers with real concern. Do not over try: excessive attention to his salary, apartment and promotion perspectives will make him worry and suspect you are hunting his money.

Learn how to say good bye to your date. Do not ask him the leading question: “When will I see you again”? Do not press on him to go together to the theatre or to a restaurant. The initiative of the next date should come from a man. Otherwise he will have the impression that you are trying to manipulate him. Thank him for the great evening and disappear like a fairy into the night.

GUIDE BY THE CLOCK

Guide by the clock.

Sexologists noticed long ago, that satisfaction from sex differs radically at different times of the day. So look at the clock and think, what you can get from your partner and what he could offer you.


6.00 - 8.00

You: Even if you are already awaken, your organism is not ready to sex yet. The level of melatonin in blood (hormone of sleep) goes down gradually, and the temperature of body did not yet rise after sleep (at night temperature of body goes down a little). Sometimes it is very pleasant to wake up from his cares. Especially if your partner is not in a hurry, but allow you to wake up under his touches.

He: Most men at this time are on the pick of sexual activity, the level of testosterone in his blood reaches the maximal value. He needs to be emboldened and gather strength before a new day. But he is not ready for long touches. Rapid sex - is what you can expect.


8.00 - 10.00

You: Finally woke up and ready to sex. Now the level of endorphin in your blood - "hormones of gladness" - achieves the maximal value. In order to become excited, you will not need much time.

He: Already in the working tune. The level of testosterone in his blood went down and entered in a norm. Therefore now it is difficult enough to shake your partner up.


10.00 - 12.00

You: At this time all your receptors of tastes are strained. Now you can get maximum of pleasure from oral sex. By the way, a man is always ready to this type of love games.

He: Cogitative activity prevails. Therefore he, instead of being engaged in sex, he will think about it for hours but will scarcely show any activity. And he will begin to analyze mentally any of your acts and build "deep" conclusions.


12.00 - 14.00

You: Your activity achieves the maximal value. But sex does not appeal to him. At this time a woman is difficult to be weakened and concentrated on sex. But at the same time, if you are going to engage yourself in the sexual enlightening of your darling feel free to try everything in practice.

He: Adjusted in playful way. At this time man's "hormones of gladness" reach level the maximal value. Therefore he wants something unusual, he will perceive any of your ideas with pleasure.


14.00 - 16.00

You: At this time your organism is maximally prepared to conception. But you are not ready for a long foreplay. But, rapid, even a little hard sex - that is what you need now. Also in this time your olfactory senses are intensified, and most important thing for you is a pleasant smell came from a man.

He: A masculine organism reproduces the most high-quality sperm approximately about four times of day. Therefore, if you reflect about continuation of family, it is the time.


16.00 - 18.00

You: At this time you have a slump of activity. Most women in this time are not capable of active foreplay. But you agree to accept this foreplay from your partner. Therefore, if your darling breaks a secret in a fight, do not stop him.

He: Ready for the fight, though not capable on protracted foreplay. He must whip off a fatigue and negative energy through sex. Therefore all you can expect is rapid sex.


18.00 - 20.00

You: It is necessary to fill in the lack of energy; therefore you don't need to renounce a supper. And don't forget to feed your partner, otherwise he will not have forces for sexual games. Also at this time your auditory senses are maximally strained. You are ready to listen long declarations of love and compliments at your account.

He: At this time a man is not capable of sexual games. Now he can think only about satisfaction of his sense of hunger and about rest after the supper. His organism outlays all forces on overcooking squeak. But, if you will invite him on an easy banquet abed, he will scarcely renounce.


20.00 - 22.00

You: Time for the long love games. You are full of forces (if you haven't not renounced a supper) and ready to take initiative in your hands, it is time for experiments in bed.

He: Breaks a secret in a fight and ready to execute any of your desires. At this time your sexual clock coincides fully.


22.00 - 0.00

You: Nearer to the midnight the level of melatonin is sharply multiplied in your blood. An organism falls asleep gradually, even if you got used to go to bed late. Therefore now your sexual sensitiveness goes down and is difficult for your partner to lead you. But romantic senses are intensified at the same time, it is desirable simply to hold hands, hug, kiss and nothing more.

He: Maximally weakened, but does not sleep yet. Therefore now he is ready for a long foreplay. In order to fall asleep, he needs to throw out tailings of energy. And sexual games for this purpose are best of all.


0.00 - 6.00

You: Your organism needs rest. But it is possible to be engaged in love in semi sleep. By the way, many women, before reaching an orgasm, achieve the peak of sexual pleasure in the half asleep state. It is related to themes, that in sleep they are able to be fully weakened. Most important, that a partner does not fall.

He: He is sleeping soundly, and it is very difficult to wake him up.

Jealousy: how to get rid of it

Jealous. Every person could live happily, extremely happily. All what is needed for that is to love and to be loved. But something is always poisoning this condition of being in love. Suddenly a glance of your darling at a waiter in a restaurant starts to tear you to pieces. You can persuade yourself that is all rubbish but the worm of jealousy will be eating your heart again and again. Later this worm can turn into a boa which will suffocate your love.
What to do with Jealousy(here is more on jealousy)? The only way is to kill this worm in your heart. Look into yourself, into your feelings.
Firstly you should stop doubt about yourself. You are such as you are. You are beautiful even if you are not in line with the beauty ideals. He loves you not because of the slim figure or attractive face. You are the one and unique. Knowing of it is the first step to get rid of jealousy.
If you are jealous you are not sure. Maybe you are not sure that you need exactly this person to date with. But that is another story. In this case you should confess to it and do not waste time for such a kind of relationship.
If you are sure that this person is all that you need but you are still jealous you have some doubts in people’s sincerity and devotion. Maybe you are not sure in your own ability to be devoted or that this relationship forever. Believe that this relationship forever or anyhow for a long time. If you have no doubts in your own feelings it’s easier for you to love him such as he is. Your happiness lies in your own hands! So stop to Jealous doubt and burst into the pure love!


here the official site for families

SEX IS A KEY FOR YOUR HEALTH

Sex keeps health and keep you young

With sex the blood circulation improves so is health overall, and the body supplies itself more intensively with oxygen. Thus the heart frequency rises on up to 120 impacts per minute. The blood pressure rises suddenly, but clearly people breathe in and out with orgasm in a minute 40 times. In addition comes:

- Sex keeps you healthy slim. Depending upon preferences 500 calories can be used with the dear play.

- The heart is preserved. Ten minutes snow dig, few floors a stair rise or a violent controversy load the heart far more.

- The circulation is trained and excited. Unfavorably for the efficiency sex is only immediately after it. But who starts directly after the act to a 100-Meter-Sprint-competition?

- The skin becomes healthier. Who sweats, cleans his pores, and a good blood circulation keeps skin and mucous membranes longer young. The connective tissue become stronger, it prevents to a cellulite or cramp veins. Beyond sex age marks on the skin is to work against.

- The sex organs are supplied with fresh blood. It can prevent a prostate disease by men.

Sex makes sexy

With sex the body sets a number free of hormones and messenger materials, which make desire worth not only healthy. Because who is looking forward to be fit and lucky, he make other people to pay attention on him. Oxytocin is called a hormone, which pays freshly fell in love generally. In addition, during the act and thereafter it promotes the completely special radiant emittance directly. In addition the sex hormones come: The male testosterone strengthens the bones, protects the heart and strengthens the cycle, the result is an upright attitude and a flexible occurrence.

The Estrogen of the women improves the regeneration ability of the skin cells and protects against cell damaging "free radicals". Estrogen keeps young and fresh. Endorphins are finally proper makers of happiness. They are set free with manual labor, reproach up to one day and make loose and content. And prolektin protects a relaxation, which one can see against stress. Regular sex harmonizes the hormone household. The body profits by it. The monthly cycle of the women is more regular, the pain by menstruation decreases. For arthritis and back problems it can work pain-reducing.

Can sex also cure health?

In the medical research still little secured data are present over it, whether sex keeps not only healthy, but also makes healthy. Because hormones are still a mystery for the science. But there is a set of assumptions, which are correct hopeful. Sex improves the conductivity of the nerves. Thus the perception is generally strengthened; the body can resist disturbances beginning faster. Vitamins are better used and converted. Deficiency symptoms decrease. Positively also the brain activity reacts, works against age features centers of the nervous system. Besides the brain halves can be better coordinated by the training of the basin soil musculature. Sex strengthens the body-own lymph flow. The lymph is responsible for the evacuation of ' cinders ', which accumulate otherwise preferentially at hips and thighs. Sex, three to four times weekly, decreases the risk of a heart attack or a brain impact with men by approximately half. Sexually active women are to get rare osteoporosis. These are only connections, which are statistically observed, but are occupied not yet in their cause. A realization however is obvious: Who is loved and tenderly shepherd and cherished, he becomes faster healthy!

Amour God of love

The God of Love

Sometimes the God of love is called Eros, the Romans called him Amour and Cupid the Greeks called. He is quite a perky character, who shifted humans with his arrows for primeval times in dear rage and does this occasionally till now. What we know today about him, we owe to own experience and unite authors of the antiquity, who maintained obviously good contact to this God of love.

Descent of Amour

According to first information he is to be a child of Chaos and belong with Gaia (earth), Erebus (darkness) and Nix (night) to the first Gods. More common however the statement is, he is a son of the dear goddess Aphrodite and their man, the forger and artist’s God Hephaestus. Others assume that the true father of the boy was the God of war Ares, Aphrodite’s lover. Incontestably both were involved in his education. In that kind of relations there won’t be a surprise that a real ne’er-do-well becomes of the boy. He uses arrow and elbow only to set the hearts of humans in flames whereby he is not interested whether it destroys thereby marriages or arranges other mischief. It looks like close moose, with its golden curls, the tender skin and the rosy cheeks. Innocently he works, more like a child, but like a man. But one day he gets himself an arrow from his own quiver - and he is inflamed in love with a human nature, who is the most beautiful, who lived at that time: Psyche.

Amour’s large love

Psyche, a friendly ground connection girl, is of such breath-robbing beauty that Aphrodite because of loud envy to Amour makes her lose her heart to a quite ugly man. But Amour let be wounded to mark of his own arrows and falls in love with Psyche, as she does with him. Only one he requests from her: Psyche may never see him get, so that she doesn’t get known, who he is. Psyche strives seriously to please her loving in all cases but her sisters agitate her too much with slanderous words, till she can’t steady her curiosity no more and one night she holds a lamp by Amour’s face. Charmed by his beauty and because of realizing of her large error she let the lamp fall and Amour awaked. Both can hardly seize it, but no choice remains for them: Amour must leave Psyche. Only after many troubles a sponsor could be found of the two in the God sky. Zeus - Jupiter, the God father, who closed his dear messenger Amour in the heart (he had prepared him nevertheless some joys), decides a good end of history. Amour and Psyche will again be together and will live lucky to......

Amour’s witness

Whether this nice history was based on actual occurrences, is uncertainly. It was written in 2 century after Christ of the philosopher Apulia. Apulia originated from his good parents' house and enjoyed an exemplary education. In questions of love he is a quite trustworthy person, nevertheless he was himself accused by the magic of love, after he could win a rich widow for himself. It might have maintained thus a good contact to Amour and his history from the first hand. Who wants to know more about Amour’s character, also the reading of a further connoisseur of love is recommended to that: P. Ovidius Naso, briefly Ovid, was a master in things of love. The Roman poet lived from 43 before Chr. to 17 A.D., first in his beloved Rome, later in banishing at the Black sea, also he punishes for his "Art of love". "Art of love", the way one of his large works was called, which was removed at the time from the libraries, to today however nothing is lost in his poetry, irony and wisdom. His experiences in love and poetry of love he owed to Amour, but he did not request it, it was not proper forced him upon.

Amour’s power

By Amour’s arrows to be met is not under any circumstances the luck on ground connection, no - it has already driven someone to the edge of the despair. But it does not have to resist a sense Amour’s power; the more people set themselves against for the dear God, the more cruelly he pursues them - the Roman poet Ovid already knew. Ovid was directly met doubly. Amour inflamed first the verse measure of the poet and then his heart. Because Ovid actually felt large lyric poetry, had the topic and the suitable verse measure, there already laughed Cupid and Amour’s arrow destined met in the middle in the goal. With this description Ovid’s begins first large work, the Amours, the dear poems, which do not only tell Ovid’s love, but also are about its agitator, the "wild Amour". Ovid describes Amour as a courageous God without fear, which knows no idle course. And where always his arrow meets, it will spread these characteristics. The loving will have likewise actively and some night through-awake. Courageous they are like soldiers, armed however with poems instead of with war tool. Only one goal has the loving: the love itself, won not by money and diamond, but alone by the art of love.

MARRIAGE

Is there life after marriage?

Two girls talking:

- Dear, soon the anniversary of your marriage, I am so happy for you!

- You know, when I was going to marry, I was sure that it was he. Now more and more often I think – Is it he?

While going to marry by a seat belt. Maybe that sounds strange but a marriage usually ends with or divorce or love turns to some other form, becomes more mature, more real. This love is very different from what you felt in the start of your relationship. Scientists consider that feeling of love is founded on chemical reactions happening in our bodies. However, as you know reactions slow down, reagents end, and you slow down with them, relationship becomes slow and dull. You can compare it with drinking coffee. Drink some, caffeine will get in blood – you are cheerful. No caffeine – you are faded.

Really, some substance stops feeding our brains, heart and other organs, which response for feelings and then you can only hope for your fantasy. You battery needs charging and you need to charge it. Especially if you want to keep the marriage. However, the chargers become weaker and weaker with time. Nevertheless, your efforts will be noticed and appreciated.

Most of time woman has more responsibility and the family’s feature depends on her. Psychologists claim that the first year after marriage is the hardest; I think most of you already noticed that. However, if you will behave correctly and competently and your man will make attempts also you will come to mature, measured and smooth love. Your scandals will turn to quiet controversies and your passionate love will be – “we appreciate each other”.

Recently I red an ancient dictum and agreed completely. Mature love is when you hug, calm down and fall sleep or share an onion bulb. Isn’t it a proof of mature love? So when you can let yourself do in your half’s presence something you was afraid or ashamed before is mature love?

With whom can we be ourselves? With mum, friends, with a sister. However, girlfriends and mum with all their universality cannot replace a man. This why we start looking for our only half and when we find him we become completely different, trying to look better. Therefore, you are you are and with your man you are not you are. You want to be more intelligent, educated and sexy.

Then your man has some female ideal in front of him. You are nice, you are bright. In reality the real you is remaining somewhere else: home, with your friends and colleagues. Men behave the same way like males before mating. Theirs tails become more fluffy, voices more gentle. You are ideal, he is ideal the only thing you have to do is say “I do” to each other.

Everything we could let ourselves do is opening in marriage gradually, coming out and gets in norm. If we had some more privacy and free time we would find chances to take our masks of magnificence and irreproachability of while our husbands do not see us. However now when you have to share place and time you sometimes show your real faces. Fog of passion dilutes with family life and you can see each other real faces through it.

Do not try to hide everything under masks of sham. Believe, there would me less divorces and break ups if people did not fake themselves. However, the natural selection is real and only the strongest will survive, so if you do not want to be a looser you have to extricate.

Time is gone, masks are taken of but time, as you know, not only cures but also weakens feelings. Passion is gone, wild love also. If you are not attracted to each other any more and having each other is just natural now, what keeps us together? There are many reasons – children, money, dependence and fear to be alone. However, maybe respect and thankfulness and of course, as it was mentioned before, - mature love.

It was a long way; a lot was lost while going (everyday wild sex, love confessions). Many things were found: will to forgive, accept all the imperfections of each other and natural ability for understanding each other. All this is appreciated in families. Nevertheless, we replace a passionate kiss with an air kiss, every minute sms’s with an every evening question “how is it at work”, crazy quantity of gifts with rear standard bunches of flowers, frequent visits to movies with diapers.

First, all that disturbs and disappoints you, then you get used and start appreciating every change in your partner. However, everything you used to have you did not lose but were able to replace it with other feelings and get on a new level in your relationship. So, do not be in a hurry to make rapid conclusions and make precipitate acts on that ground. Everything will be fine if both of you will try.

Supporters of vivid and lofty feelings are afraid of that “boring” every day love that will inescapable come after marriage. They do everything trying to avoid those inescapable changes of feelings and make many mistakes. Now, what you should not do.

1. Do not use you children in selfish purposes: we have children, so be a good dad, stay home and forget your friends forever. Therefore, your man will get used to it and will know without you to remind that he is with you only because of your children.

2. Do not take your friends and relatives involved in your arguments. Nothing can offend more than an insult from your nearest and dearest. Do not start arguing first be more smart than that.

3. Give all the power to your husband. The diarchy will lead to crash. You already know that man is a head but woman is a neck and turns where she wants.

4. Do not do everything alone. The role of a working horse will dull your feelings faster than time.

5. Do not make quarrels because of his meetings with friends from past bachelor life. If there will be love and understanding in your relationship he will want to come back to you faster.

6. Do not look for money advantages in marriage. You should always be able to count on yourself.

7. Give freedom to each other. Freedom is when for the question: How long will it take” you can answer: I do not know.

8. No to cheating. When one is fighting for saving the family and the other is cheating it will not do any good to your family. Moreover, remember that three glasses of wine can turn any guy to a prince. Avoid situations like that.

9. Do not give any reason for gossips about your relationship. Senseless talks lead to gossips.

10. Each other’s hobbies cannot be mocked or censured. Everybody has right for reading stupid books or fishing all night long.

Future of your relationship depends on you. If you want to get care and gentleness after vivid love, you both have to do everything for that. It is easier to let it going as it goes and complain that you see not that person you married. It is much harder to find something you would still like about him or her. Relationship the same as we are - grow and change. This does not make them worse. And your rapid rhythm started slow down, fantasize and try to add some passion and fire!

Sometimes in the evening, I started thinking about cheating on my husband. No, I cannot say that I wanted it but I started thinking why people do it.

According statistic 76% of men not less than once cheated on theirs partners. Moreover, the most often reason for that is desire to try something new in theirs sexual life – 19%. Absence of a wife or girlfriend for a long time – 12%. Appearance of a new feeling – 10%. Family problems – 9%. A wish to take revenge on for cheating. In addition, more than the third of men cannot explain that at all why they cheated.

After reading various articles and statistic, I decided to find everything out, as they say, “at first hand” – from him. An alive man is much better than any statistic and psychologists and can tell what makes them to do things like that. At the same time I could find out what he think about women cheating what also takes place in our life.

Me – Why and for what reason people cheat on each other? Is it animal’s instincts? Absolute reflexes? Lack of attention, passion, tenderness? Desire for strong feelings or maybe people just get bored of each other?

Him – they say that it is natural. The pleasure of sex exists for people to mate more.

Me – Why a cheating person is not afraid to lose his love? On the other hand, maybe to that time it is not love but an appendix living close? In addition, they say that while looking for a partner a woman instinctively looking for a good dad for her feature children. But if you already have children and they have dad so what is cheating for? I never thought about that, but when you are going to marry you as if putting a chastity belt on: even if you want, you cannot. I think that there should not be desire to hurt your love – cheating hurts so much. You thought that everything is all right but- no. All life is nice words, only a beautiful cover and nothing inside, no closeness, mental or physical (maybe only sometimes).

Him – You know what I think, man have a stupid function to sleep with as many women as possible. Every man has it (just naturally), even me. Simply my function did not find expression. However, I know many guys why makes it the main goal. They do not have any constant partner. They can be with one woman for a long time and will only accept her as a sexual partner. But talking about husbands…in 99% it is because of sex dissatisfaction and 1% because of they got bored of their wives.

Me – I agree that it is natural but we also have a brain and should understand that it hurts. I do not know where, but I got a belief that everybody changes even if once…although I cannot do that I will be disgusting to myself. There are many people with head on shoulders and they do not accept cheating as a goal of all life. However, it happens with them also.

Him – I just do not know what it is and how it feels.

On that point, I decided to finish our conversation. I did not want to teach my love cheating by accident. If he really does not know what it is, that is better for me. However, if he lies because does not want to disturb me – that is good also. Nevertheless, the matter of our conversation is the only one – you cannot fight nature. This why, you should look for the reason for cheating in the depth – in the physiology.

Any pupil knows that every man is an animal and with that - herd animal. Nature itself made the main goal for as – to survive. In addition, with all that not only survive but also leave good posterity after us. To make more females pregnant is the main task for a male in these tough conditions of natural selection. Moreover, for making him (a wolf, bull, lion, man) constantly do this hard role of inseminator, nature made a prize – orgasm. This striving for sexual pleasure pushes men to hit on more and more women.

Therefore, you can see the conclusion: men’s general striving to have more women and to get as much pleasure as possible is founded by nature. So, your task is to damp down that instinct or make it directed only on you. Now several practical advises something you should know if you decided to secure yourself against marriage cheating.

The Walls we build

What could I do if family is already broken and life with relatives under one roof is connected to constant quarrels and irritation?

Patience and hard work are essential things for building new relationships. It’s quite often that while communicating we provoke people to disputed behavior and we render insult. There are certain ways of conducting conversation which prevent people to understand each other, worsen their mutual relations, and cause a rage, the protest. Moreover, the certain actions terminate dialogue right at the beginning: partners cease to listen each other; at the end they are not interested in sense of conversation.

The Walls we build

Your statements

" You are always like this ! "

«You should not do so! »

«You always act in own way! »

To impose to someone an own problem you are possible to find out attempt easily on presence so-called « - statements » and orders: « you should », « at you will leave nothing », « stop now » … These phrases bear inside an element of the superiority, pressure and cause in the partner the latent or obvious protest. Even if it{he} also will start to follow the instruction{indication}, will reluctantly do{make} it, not at the will. For to whom similar statements concern, they are represented accusatory and compel to take a defensive position. The basic problem will be, that similar statements create impression of correctness of the one who speaks and неправоты other party{side}.

Negative estimations and labels (insults)

" You speak unreasonable things "

" That is incorrect! "

" You incorrectly bring up children! You are the bad son! "

In most cases other person is not interested with our opinion. It is absorbed by own feelings, desires and impressions. Therefore, having heard similar phrases, the interlocutor, most likely, begins to challenge either a estimation, or your right of her{it} to state in the same style: « Yes you and itself small mind{wit}! », « you provoke me! », « On itself look! ».

Advice

" Mine advice to you – stop it now! "

" That is not your business how is better to bring up my children! "

" Do not make me angry! "

If we have asked for advice it should be given. But in other cases advice are perceived very much and very intently and frequently cause feeling of the protest: « Get behind you me with the advice! », « who you are to advice me!? », « climb in the business! ».

Questions

" Where have you been? "

"Who did you achieve? "

" What for you have done it? "

an answer could be easily found on any question, but these are rhetorical ones. It is supposed, that the partner himself will understand, how you are malicious, offended, upset, but it never occurs. In turn other person himself will start to ask questions, not expecting the answer to them: « And your what business? », « Why it excites you? », « you to offend I want? ». The interlocutor necessarily will leave from itself and will try to stop conversation unpleasant to it{him}, for example, as the categorical requirement, that is the order.

Orders

" Stop getting on my nerves! "

" Shut up!"

" Get out from here! "

" I will not allow to treat me that way! "

As desires of two people completely coincide very much and very seldom, the order always causes feeling of the protest with a challenge: « I will not go! », « who makes anger now? », «Go away in turn! ».

False arguments

" You want to get rid of me! "

" You adjust all against me! "

" You never go towards to me "

All of us can attribute the fears to other people. In these statements the fear and aggression which very strongly prevent open dialogue disappear. For example, the person very much is afraid of loneliness and speaks the partner: « you want me to throw! », but it only his{its} fears, instead of a reality.

Generalizations, global conclusions of single instances

" You never in a life of anything for me have made! "

" You always brought us! "

" You in the house have not hammered in any nail! "

The fear or other strong emotions force us to jump to conclusions. Such generalizations hardly will be true, besides the partner will easily recollect, how it{he} about three months ago has wiped a dust or has hammered a nail extremely under own initiative. When it{he} will recollect it, itself will start to attribute to us the fears: « you never listen! », « you of anything it is impossible to convince! », « you never pay to me of attention! ». Propensity to distribute isolated facts on all universe too frequently begin a barrier. Once having been refused, we are afraid to hear it{him} and another time, and on this basis we attribute to other person of quality with which it{he}, probably, does not possess: « for All from me are necessary only money! », « All men insensible! », « At me never it will turn out nothing! ».

Irony, язвительность

Jokes and irony are good until they attract to both partners on dialogue. Quite neutral phrases, such as: « Well, you and the hero! », « On you now all family in admiration looks! », in other situation can cause rather strong negative reactions of the partner.

Erection of bridges

Very much frequently people do not notice a difference meanwhile, that speak, and that want to tell. Thus think, that the partner realizes, about what, there is a speech. Misunderstanding of simple words very much irritates, forces to use more and more strong expressions, to speak all more loudly and more loudly, to be angry and boiled. Nevertheless, there are the ways, assisting to adjust attitudes{relations}, thus having kept the point of view. That these ways have worked, the patience and time is required.

Ignoring

This way consists that we allow to be angry, express the interlocutor the emotions, and we keep calmness and friendliness. Very important thus to try to not reject that the interlocutor speaks, to create at him{it} sensation of understanding and cooperation. We do not refuse _expression of own opinion, simply we state it{him} easy and patiently. That this opinion has been listened, all over again it is necessary to achieve attention of the partner. For example: « Yes, I understand, that you want to help to understand to me with children, I very much appreciate it, in fact your wise advice{councils} not time helped me ».

« I - statements »

The phrase begins with the neutral not accusatory description of action of other person which does not arrange you. Then the description of your reactions to this behavior follows. Explain, why this behavior makes difficulty, or simply specify, how it is reflected in you. At last, describe what you would wish, thus use such revolutions as « I would like », « I would be grateful to you » or « I would prefer ». For example: « When you accept the decision, not asking my opinion, I feel insult as it seems to me, that you not interested with my point of view. I would like, that we in common discussed such questions and took into account desires of all members of family ».

If we can express the problem openly, in « I - to the form » at once we shall get two essential advantages: we shall establish clearness, a transparency of these attitudes, and also we shall generate at the partner motivation of assistance in the decision of our problem.

Expression of feelings of the interlocutor

This way consists that we recognize and we express verbally feelings of the interlocutor that will help to remove{take off} an emotional pressure{voltage} and to proceed{pass} to meaningful dialogue. For example: « you think, what I incorrectly bring up children? But I so would like to make for them everything, that in my forces ».

IN general it’s not a rare case when other people as in a mirror reflects our own fears. Therefore first of all try to understand with the feelings, desires before to accuse other people of the negative attitude{relation} to you. Do not erect a wall around of itself if not want to live in loneliness and isolation.

You can visit behavior and depression therapy site for help